Fixing A Hole
by semolinapilchard
Summary: TEMPORARILY ABANDONED. Severus is shocked to learn of the result of a sexual experiment he once had in America. Then, a man he never thought he'd hear from again decides to reappear with sudden interest. SLASH, SS/HP
1. Chapter 1

_**Title: **Fixing A Hole  
_

_**Warnings: **This is incredibly AU, and I chose to ignore any plot which I wasn't fond of... so please be aware. Also, this is SLASH if you hadn't noticed yet, so if that's not your cup of tea, I suggest you find another tea shop.  
_

_**Rating:** M  
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_**Pairing:** Severus Snape / Harry Potter  
_

_**Disclaimer: **I do not own any recognizable HP character. I'm just playing with them :) Thanks.  
_

_**Summary:** __Severus is shocked to learn of the unexpected result of a sexual experiment he had once had in America. And to make matters worse, a man he never thought he'd hear from again decides to reappear with sudden interest, an event that becomes very beneficial in the form of a hoax._

* * *

**Chapter 1 **

"A daughter Severus? Really now, how careless of you," smirked the headmaster from behind his desk, casting a sideways glance at the distraught man who was fuming frustration and worry at the other end of the room.

"Despite how much pleasure you are likely to take in believing me to be an international Casanova Headmaster, I assure you this is just as much a surprise to me." Severus paused and leaned his head against the large upholstered chair upon which he sat. This particular chair was placed beside the door of the headmaster's office and held a familiarity to the man who often found reassurance and guidance from atop its warm regal fabrics. He never chose to sit in the stiff formal chairs which were placed at the opposite side of the headmaster's desk; they made him feel interrogated.

"Yes, and I'm very glad that it's news to you," Dumbledore chuckled, "And I'm also sure there is a wonderfully embarrassing story behind it as well." Setting aside the letter written in the scratchy handwriting of a young American, Dumbledore peered over his spectacles, his expression playful, "and since you don't seem too embarrassed my boy, would you entertain an old man with the tale?"

Severus crossed his legs and picked at a thread protruding from the thick scarlet embroidery. "No," he answered plainly.

"Really Severus, that is most unkind. I have nothing to do now that Voldemort isn't around to occupy me, and a story would make my day."

"It's none of your business first of all, and second of all it's not that interesting. I'm sure you would be disappointed."

"Now I disagree. I'm sure any story where you impregnate an American is bound to be something I would cherish for another decade at least!" he said cheerfully, his old face alight with the excitement of a young girl longing to hear the gossip of a foe.

With a smirk and a sigh, Snape stood up and retrieved the letter that had become the subject of his every waking thought since it had arrived that morning. It had been forwarded by owl from his summer home in Winchelsea, a small seaside town in East Sussex. It was a small secluded house near a stream, a quiet place which he looked forward to every year. Despite his infamous reputation, he found the dungeons dreary and cold, and found that his rooms smelt of mold on too many occasions. He assumed that the young woman, in question, had found him listed in the town directory, the only place his name could possibly be located by a muggle, which also meant, that she must have looked very hard.

"Why don't you tell me how to get out of this mess, and then I'll tell you the story you are so desperate to hear." Snape replied dryly.

"Now Severus, I will try my very best to help you properly attend to this young woman. However, dealing with her, as you say, is a terrible way to look at it, you must see that." Dumbledore's features were no longer youthful and amused when Snape looked up from the letter he had been sifting over once again as he stood over the wide cherry wood desk. Now the old man was stern and fatherly, and Severus had the distinct feeling he was about to be reprimanded.

"A child should never be looked upon as a burden, no matter when or how they may enter one's life so please do not think you can brush her aside. Remember Severus, now that this woman has revealed herself to you, you have two options. You can be a true villain and try to ignore her, and retreat back into the life you have become accustomed to. Or, you can do the honorable thing, and accept her as part of your life, because as sure as I'm standing here, she will undoubtedly be part of your thoughts for the rest of your life, whether you ignore her or not. Children are the greatest thing that can happen to a man Severus."

Severus felt as if he had just been knocked over. "How touching," he replied sarcastically, turning before his face betrayed the sudden onslaught of fear he was feeling. It was true, he had spent the entire day since receiving the letter with thoughts of how to cordially meet her, maybe give her some money, and then leave to return to the simpler life which he had been enjoying since Voldemort's death. "How can I possibly invite a muggle into my life Headmaster, the thought is inconceivable."

"No it's not Severus, it's complicated, but not impossible, and I'm sure you'll think of a way, you are very good at these kinds of things."

"I hope you're not suggesting I tell her." Severus exclaimed aghast.

"No of course not, that would terrify the girl." Dumbledore said plainly, and sat back in his chair. "No, always agreed that muggles are not usually capable of handling the reality of our world. I suggest you always try and keep that from her, for her sake, I doubt she wants to believe her long lost father is out of his senses."

"We wouldn't want to add anything else to the long list of imperfections and abnormalities that will surely be a great disappointment to her and her girlish fantasies of a father figure," Severus said deeply and quietly as he turned to return to the chair by the door which had become cold during his brief absence, and made him suddenly yearn for the familiarity and solitude of his rooms in the dungeons.

Dumbledore knew now, without a doubt that his speech had been unnecessary, Severus would have decided to do the right thing on his own, with time. He could see the worry in his eyes as he contemplated all the things he thought he was lacking in the way of the picturesque father that every men thinks a child desires. But over his many years, Dumbledore had learned that in the end, children cherish a father who is caring, and honest and real. And Dumbledore found that he respected and loved Severus for those very things. And there was no need for him to be worried, but he also knew there was not much he could say to ease those worries from his mind.

"Well, I take it you plan to visit her in America then?" Dumbledore asked.

"Yes, I will write and tell her today."

"Good. It shows her that you are deeply concerned and interested if you offer to travel to her. When do you plan to leave?"

"As soon as possible, a week maybe, I'll ask her when is best in the letter, but I'd really rather not have to sit on this for too much longer. The whole issue is giving me a terrible headache."

"Good. Very good, I agree completely. Just be sure to let me know when the dates are all settled so that I can think of something to delight your potions classes with while you're gone." He said with a smirk.

"Oh fuck, my classes," Severus exclaimed softly, his headache suddenly intensified, causing him to press his fingers mindlessly into his temples. "I completely forgot. No I can't ask that of you. I'll just have to ask her if I could come briefly during Christmas holiday."

"Don't be silly Severus, I would love to have something to do, I'm so bored now that there's nothing threatening my life."

Severus smiled; his old friend could always bring light into even his worst of days.

"In fact, I expel you for one month starting a week before you decide to leave for this visit Severus, and that is nonnegotiable. I suggest you spend a week or two with your daughter, and spend the rest of this time I'm giving you to take a breather in Sussex, you need the time to clear your head and sort your affairs out."

Seeing an opportunity to leave without further discussion, Severus nodded to the headmaster, "That's exceedingly kind of you headmaster. I greatly appreciate it." Smiling sincerely he stood, feeling his spine pop from the building tension, "I'll leave you to your evening then," and with that, he turned to open the door.

"Severus?" Dumbledore called inquiringly.

"Yes Headmaster?"

"I suppose I can expect a visit from you tomorrow evening?"

"Tomorrow evening?"

"Of course my boy, that is when you will be so eager to tell me how this all happened. I still eagerly await an explanation."

* * *

Severus was deep in thought three days later as he sat over another first year paper, which had once again taken far too much of his time to read and fail, when into the silence came a single quiet knock which echoed through his long classroom. 

"Enter" he called, looking up and desperately hoping the letter had finally arrived. It infuriated him how long muggle mail took to travel, but of course there wasn't much he could do about it. However instead of seeing the squeamish house elf who worked in the owlery, and had been ordered to bring him any letters immediately, he found Dumbledore's willowy and cheerful figure sliding towards him.

"Severus, how are you doing today?" he asked when he reached the old wooden platform which Severus's desk sat upon.

"Just fine thank you, but I am quite busy just now Headmaster."

"Well that's very unfortunate because I know how much you have been waiting for this," he said, holding up a small lavender envelope.

Looking up Severus spotted the silly little letter which had been plaguing his every waking thought. He leaped up and snatched the envelope from the Headmaster's hand. "I thought I'd ordered that to be sent to me directly as soon as it arrived?"

"Oh now Severus, don't go and torture the poor house elves over this, I merely happened upon little Mimsy who was on her way with it as I was arriving to ask you how you were feeling."

Picking a pen off his desk and pressing it between the folds of the envelope Severus began ripping the top fold open, "My headache is much better thank you headmaster

"What was that?"

Severus looked up with annoyance as he pulled out the thin tri folded paper, "My headache, you came to ask me about my headache?"

"Oh yes, of course, well that's very good to hear. Well then, I suppose I leave you to it, you just tell when you plan to leave for Sussex."

Already distracted by the prospect of reading the letter, Severus answered with a quick nod and a "sure," hardly noticing Dumbledore as he turned to go.

The Headmaster chuckled as he thought about what a great father his young friend would make, if a mere letter had him this nervous.

_Dear Mr. Snape, _

_Thank you so much for replying quickly, you have absolutely no idea how much of a relief it was. You can't imagine how long I've been dreading sending that letter, I __had convinced myself you would never respond_

_Well, I have to say I'm completely sho__cked by__ your willingness to come visit so soon, I know how hard that must be for you and your schedule, and although I don't know much about your situation, please apologize to your family for this news, I'm sure it must be a real shock. And also know ahead of tim__e that I don't intend to be a n__uisance__ in any way at all, the last thing I would want to do is cause problems for you._

Here, Snape noticed with a mixture of amusement and nausea was a little smiling face drawn with a sloppy half circle and two little circles for eyes.

_Anyway, please feel free to come anytime at all, just tell me what day__ and time__ and I'll pick you up at the airport__, my job allows me a lot of lenience so I won't have any problems there__. And if you want my phone number, it's 415-823-5723._

_Talk to you soon._

_Love, Willow Morgan._

Severus set the letter down upon his desk and took a deep breath. She expects him to have a family, he thought with sudden fear. Of course she expects him to have a family, or at least some sort of relational ties, he was nearly forty-five years old and he had nothing but himself to show. What would she think of him? A single, old, greasy, long nosed oddity.

Folding the letter, he opened his top desk drawer and slipped the letter in beside the previous lavender envelope which had made him aware of the girl's existence with a few simple scratchy words. Pulling out a piece of parchment Severus scribbled a brief and polite response to the worries she had addressed in the letter and gave her the time and date of the plane he had asked Dumbledore to book him in anticipation that she would agree to his terms. Yesterday he had been too nervous to wait any longer and resigned to get a muggle plane ticket anyway. He could afford to cancel the flight if she declined the date, but he had a feeling she wouldn't deny him this. Severus folded the letter and placed it into one of the few envelopes he kept with him and addressed it slowly as to be sure he didn't miss any details, then slipped it into his pocket to bring to the owlery after his meeting with Dumbledore.

Sighing, Severus stood and tried to wipe any lingering expression of self doubt from his face before heading for the door, he would have to tell Dumbledore he was leaving now if he wanted to floo to Sussex that night as he was planning. He had been greatly looking forward to spending the six days before his departure in the little home which was always so quiet and simple, and brought him such comfort and peace when he was under stress such as this.

* * *

Three days later, having settled into his home in Sussex, Severus did not feel any more relaxed. In fact, Severus was growing more and more anxious every second. He was almost to the point where he was thinking of calling the whole meeting off. He simply couldn't imagine having to encounter his daughter while having to confess to not having any kind of family. 

Of course the honest way to handle this would be to come right out and tell her that he was a lonely gay recluse whose afraid of letting anyone get close to him romantically. But that seemed impossible to him. In fact, he couldn't think of any easy way out of this. Telling her the truth was too difficult. Lying was out of the question because she was bound to find out the truth someday anyway. So, the best solution was obviously to not tell her anything.

A knock interrupted his thoughts.

And another.

Normally such a thing would not surprise him in the least, but Severus had never had a single visitor here, ever.

Standing up he tied the long brown robe over his bare chest and black dress pants then walked to the door. He looked out through the long thin window that lined the door frame, but it was too dark to see anything but blurry lights in the distance. Severus opened the door, and with the blast of cold that entered the room he felt as if the air had been sucked from his lungs. In front of him stood the last person he'd ever expected to see at that moment, or ever again for that matter.

"Hey. Can I come in, it's colder than fuck out here."

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_**P.S.** Reviews make me happy!_


	2. Chapter 2

_refer to chapter one for disclaimer and warnings. _

_I hope you enjoy... _

* * *

**Chapter 2 **

Speechless, Severus stared down at the face of the very last person he ever thought he'd see again, Harry Potter. The boy he had fucked while drunk eight months ago.

The brief encounter had taken place after a long and tedious dinner for Dumbledore's birthday eight months ago. Severus had tried to avoid the dinner, but Dumbledore wouldn't have it, so he came late, intending to make a brief appearance and then disappear early. The friendly dinner had been set up in Dumbledore's private quarters, the whole spectacle very sparkling and elaborate as was assuredly Dumbledore's intent, though he made a point to act very surprised and put out, claiming the house elves were very extensive in their decoration.

Potter was sitting surrounded by his disheveled friends and their disgustingly noisy brood when Severus arrived. He hadn't seen the boy who lived in over four and a half years. Not since the end of the war. Somehow Severus hadn't thought he would be there, he knew Dumbledore kept in touch, but the boy's epic solitude and careless wanderings had made Severus assume that Potter was in desperate need of a firm break in all ties to his past life. During the past years after the war, rumors had flown about like wildfire regarding what had become of the hero. One rumor had been of particular interest to Severus, that of Potter's questionable sexuality. When he heard the rumor, he couldn't help but feel moderately softened in his previously indifferent sympathy for the boy. He remembered what it was like growing up as a gay young man, and with the added pressures Potter had been faced with, Severus could only imagine the difficulties. Nevertheless he had still found the notion slightly humorous as he remembered the awkward knobby kneed boy Potter had been in school. But more importantly, Severus was a bit surprised that he hadn't noticed. Normally he was quiet good at picking up on these things.

When he saw him that night however, Severus couldn't help but notice the amazingly attractive man he'd become. He was taller, broad shouldered and toned. Severus now found his hair wild and fierce, his chin firm, and his jaw line rough with stubble. His smile was suddenly enchanting and Severus couldn't help but notice the way his jeans rode low on his hips and the way his shirt looked as it rippled over his chest. But most of all it was how aware Potter was of his noticing which made Severus leave earlier than he'd anticipated and return to his room to get as drunk as possible. He was certain now that the man was indeed very gay, he couldn't have mistook that unabashed seductive look Potter had given him over the long table. And worse of all it had excited him. But those thoughts, and those forbidden feelings were all out of the question, he simply couldn't have any kind of sexual feelings for Harry Potter, it was going too far. His loneliness had driven him over the edge, and the only thing to do was to drink it out of his system.

And that's when it happened, much like this simple knock, but much later into the night, and Severus remembered it much more hazily. He remembered the knock, and the face at the other end which looked just as drunk and just as horny. Then it was a blur of hands and skin and moans and… good god, it was all too much. So Severus was glad, very glad when Harry was gone in the morning, and to tell the truth, even more relieved that he never heard from him again. He wasn't looking for anything to result from the encounter, so it was better they avoid each other at all cost. What Severus didn't know however, was what he was doing at his house in Sussex, no one but the headmaster knew the address.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Smirking, Harry pushed past the tall figure and walked inside without an invitation, "yea, it's good to see you too Snape."

Harry unwrapped a fraying brown scarf from around his neck and pulled a tan beanie off his head, shaking his tussled hair like a wet dog, then tossed them on the little mail stool by the door.

Snape stood, still holding the door open in shock as the cold air began prickling the warm air in the room. "I didn't invite you in Potter so don't get comfortable, and then tell me what business you have at my home, because whatever it is it's certainly unwelcome."

"I was in town." He said with a little smile and shoulder shrug. It was incredible, Severus thought, how this man whom he had had virtually no interaction with in over 5 years could feel so bold around him. When Potter was in school he had hated his terrifying potions master. And Severus had made it very clear over the years that he was progressively less found of him, or so he'd thought.

Now, it was true that they may have had sex, but as far as Severus remembered, they hadn't exchanged more than a few perfunctory words. Potter couldn't possibly feel that the encounter afforded him the rights to be on such friendly terms.

"No one is ever just in town, in Winchelsea potter, that's why I live here, to avoid events like this." Severus paused as he watched the man remove his long slimming suede coat, which he noted made Harry's figure look sleek and rugged. Severus thought it would be obvious that he was uncomfortable with the visit, and thought he was doing a good enough job at making him feel very unwelcome. "Put the coat back on Potter and get your things."

"Why aren't you at the school? I went there first and Dumbledore said you were at your summer house, but he wouldn't tell me where that was." Harry walked over to Severus casually as if he hadn't heard a single word. "I had to look really really hard, so, it would be terribly rude to kick me out." Harry stood right in front of the taller man, much too close, and took the edge of the open door and softly closed it. "You've made it cold in here now." He smiled and walked through the small entry room and toward the arch which lead to the kitchen. "Do you want tea or anything?"

Severus was fuming. Under no circumstances was he to be intimidated by Harry fucking Potter, and he even had the nerve to offer him tea in his own home. This was just too odd, and besides, Severus was extremely tired, stressed, and in no condition to deal with this nonsense. All he wanted to do was go to bed where sleep would remove all these lingering worries for the night and maybe even give him a relatively new perspective in the morning. But a bizarre visit from Potter was not what he needed.

Softening his voice to an angry sinister quality, Severus strolled into the kitchen. "Get out Potter; I'm warning you this is not a good time. I'm exhausted and not in good spirits to torment or entertain you."

"I don't have anywhere to stay tonight."

"Apparate home, anything, I don't care."

"Why do you call me Potter, you know you can call me Harry if you want." he said as he finally found a coffee cup and pulled it down out off the shelf.

"I would rather not thank you. I don't refer to people I hate by their first names. It warrants them far too much easiness around me."

"I remember a time when you called me Harry." His eye brows lifted suggestively.

"I never did." Severus battled, becoming very embarrassed by where the topic was leading them, and even more concerned about whether or not the statement was true. The drunken encounter had left virtually no clear memories of the night. For all he knew, Potter could be right.

"Yes you did. You called me Harry, I remember very clearly because I never expected it." Harry picked up the cup of tea which he had just finished pouring from Snape's old plastic tea machine and walked slowly past Severus who stood frozen in the doorway. "And it sounded nice, by the way."

"For God sakes Potter please tell me this is not why you're here because if it is, I don't know why it can't wait, and furthermore why you waited eight months to approach me about it."

Harry walked through the entry room, looking casually over the shelves of books against the wall which sat at either side of an aging leather loveseat. "You have a lot of books here, just like at school. It's weird because it seems like all my memories of you are framed by hundreds of books." He took a sip of his tea and continued through the arch at the other end of the room and into the messy den.

Severus knew little about the new Harry Potter, but he was learning that he could no longer be intimidated. He had a hard shell now, and short of hexing him out the door, Severus doubted asking or demanding his removal would be effective. And besides, as much as he hated to admit it, part of him rejoiced in the man's sudden interest. Severus may not have wanted to ever have to deal with what happened that night, but part of him, a very small, very brief part of him wondered what Harry's reasons were for leaving so abruptly, and furthermore, why he came to him that night in the first place. But it really didn't matter. They had both had far too much to drink and had found something briefly appealing in each other at that dinner table, and that was enough reason for Severus.

Taking a deep breath and running his fingers through his hair, which he realized needed a washing, Severus resolved to play Potter's little game, he apparently had reason to be here, and was obviously determined to fulfill it in the longest, most difficult and most annoying way he knew how.

Severus followed Harry into the next room and took a seat casually in his favorite chair, picking up the large leather bound volume which had been resting over the wide arm of the chair.

"What are you reading?"

"Why are you here?"

Harry chuckled, "I wanted to see you."

Severus smirked and looked back down at the open book, "Yes, and Voldemort was just dreadfully misunderstood. "

Harry laughed deeply and richly, a sound that made Severus's chest twitch, people rarely laughed around him. But Severus kept his face stern and emotionless, never letting his eyes wander from the page.

"You don't believe me do you?" Harry questioned sincerely.

"No I don't Potter, no one ever wants to see me. People want things from me."

"Understandable, you're an asshole." Harry took another sip of his tea and looked about the simple room for a place to sit, spotting a misplaced mahogany kitchen chair set in the corner by the window. Harry was almost tempted to imagine that the older man would sit and look out at the stream which runs below it. Grabbing the heavy wobbling back, he lifted the seat and pulled it to the wall opposite Severus. "You didn't tell me why you're not at school."

"You didn't tell me why you're here."

"Yes I did."

"Don't play games with me Potter."

Suddenly frustrated, Harry set the thick pear shaped coffee cup down on the table beside him roughly, "I'm not lying to you, and if you weren't so thick headed you could try and learn to believe people. Besides," he said softly, "I try to never lie to anyone now; it makes for a messy life."

"How very unlikely, and you don't need to lecture me about lies Potter, I wasted my life fearing the lies I lived by."

"I know, and I'm sorry."

"Don't do that Potter, don't apologize when you have your own problems… not that anyone cares to hear you piss and moan about them again."

Harry smiled, "I think I heard some degree of concern in that comment, but I'll pretend to be offended."

The next twenty minutes passed in silence, only the sound of Severus flipping his pages and Harry lightly sipping his tea which was growing cold, but since it gave him something to do, something to hold onto, he tried to nurse it as long as he could. Finally, Harry was becoming annoyed and nervous. He didn't think about what to do once he got here, in fact he didn't really think about what he was after at all. All he knew was that he couldn't stop thinking about that night.

"You look tired Severus," Harry said softly, trying to break the silence as he noticed the man's eyes drifting shut.

Severus looked over at Harry, his eyes stern, "I never gave you permission to call me by my first name, so kindly don't do so now."

"Yet again, I remember a time you let me call you that."

Severus threw his book down on the coffee table before him. "I never would have allowed… how you can possibly remember any of this anyway, I hardly remember that night occurred at all, in fact you're lucky I even remember it was you I fucked." As soon as he said it Severus knew it was a mistake, but he wasn't about to let him see that he regretted the words.

Harry's eyes saddened, "Yea well… I remember everything." He stood up without ever looking at the other man. "I really don't have anywhere to go and nowhere to apparate to this late," he stated simply and with much indifference. "I sold my house in Spain and I was traveling back over to the UK, thinking about looking for a place in Ireland maybe." Harry leaned over and snatched the cup off the table, making a little cold tea splash into the table top. "But, I'm sure I can get a hotel room in town, if you'll just tell me where to go." He looked up and met the man's eyes boldly. "I'm sorry I took up so much of your time."

Severus stood, his body aligning closely with Harry's. He turned and walked to a tall wardrobe against the wall of the hallway, opening the doors, he pulled out a thick winter blanket and two feather pillows. "There's only one hotel, and they don't except guests after midnight, there's no reason, no one ever comes through this late." Severus closed the doors until the little brass latch clicked into place. He moved over to the man, who no longer looked confident and joyous. Now he looked hurt, angry and stubborn, much like he remembered him as a young troubled boy with too much pride looking up at him from behind his desk as he was being insulted and baited.

"You can stay here if you like." Severus offered holding out the blanket.

"I'm not welcome," Harry said sadly, then turned and headed for the kitchen, intending to clean up after himself before he left.

Setting the load down on the coffee table, Severus followed Harry into the kitchen. "I told you, there's nowhere else for you to go this late."

Harry turned on the sink and began washing out the cup with a yellow sponge. "There's always somewhere else to go, I live my life moving from place to place, I'll just catch another bus and go to Canterbury, there'll be plenty of hotels there." Harry dried off his cup and placed it back in the cupboard above the sink. Squirming around Severus who was partially blocking the doorway, Harry went to the mail table and tossed his scarf around his neck, and pulled the cap over his hair before opening the door.

"Harry, please try not to be such a fucking drama queen and stay the night," Severus said suddenly from behind, startling him. He shouldn't really care that he suddenly found it appropriate to call him Harry, but somehow it did.

"You obviously have other reasons for being here, and if they're so important to you then it would be better if you stay and get them off your chest." Turning, Harry looked at Severus, his eyes suspicious, normally this would be the place for a normal person to apologize, but he feared apologies were beyond what he was capable of.

Severus wrapped his arms over his chest, the cold outside making the room chilly again. "I was inexcusably rude alright, now shut the fucking door."

It wasn't exactly an apology, but Harry figured it was closest he was ever going to get. Harry thought Severus' long strides as he walked back into the Den made him appear strong and powerful in his more meager clothes, he was used to seeing him in the trademark billowing robes and he remembered being pleasantly surprised at Severus's lean muscular physique that night eight months ago. Harry followed him into the Den and picked up the blanket he'd left on the coffee table. He turned to Severus who was folding up the book and placing it back on the shelf.

"Where is the guest bedroom?"

"Well seeing as how you're the first guest I've ever had, I never thought an extra bedroom would be necessary." Severus sounded less condescending despite his words, instead he just sounded tired and apologetic, as if he was trying to make up for his hurtful words by changing his tone. "You can sleep out here on the leather sofa, though it's not very long, or I can always transfigure a mattress for you."

Harry lifted the blankets and held them under his arm. "The couch is fine, it's not that short."

Severus nodded, "there are two full bathrooms, one just there," he pointed to a closed door against the wall of the den. "Feel free to use that one, but I was going to take a shower in my room, so if you need to do the same, please do it soon."

Harry smiled, "I shower in the morning, but thanks."

Severus nodded again then awkwardly slid past the man and leaned around the wall to click off the switch which powered the entry way and kitchen.

"Well, I'll see you in the morning if you're still here."

"Would you care if I was?" Harry asked sheepishly. Severus thought Harry sounded just like a frightened child, not the strong confident man he had become. There was obviously something about this visit that had him feeling very overwrought.

"I would be less opposed if you managed to get the coffee made before I wake up." Severus smirked briefly then turned to go, he hoped his humor made him seem more approachable, so that hopefully, Potter could get whatever it was off his chest in the morning, and be on his way.

Harry smiled a little and turned to move to the couch, "We'll see."

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_**P.S.** I've said it once, and I'll say it again... Reviews make me excessively happy! _

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	3. Chapter 3

_refer__ to chapter one for disclaimer and warnings._

_NOTE: I was thinking about changing the genre from "humor" to "drama" because I think the story has been leading me towards a slightly more dramatic mood. However I'm going to leave the genre alone for now, just because I predict that the plot will lighten up a lot when the daughter comes into the picture. So if you were hoping for a less melancholy story, please give me a chapter or two... I think it will change directions a bit ;)_

_ALSO: I use italics to signify a memory, or an event that took place in the past. _

_enjoy_

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**Chapter 3**

_The leaving feast was roaring on with wild brilliance as every __blithe__ student celebrated their freedom. _

_However, Harry felt very much unlike a __savior__, or the hero __they were calling him. No, he simply felt old, and glad to be rid of the __burden__ and the endless training._

_H__e__ stood at the opening of the Great Hall and gazed in with the distant curiosity of an elderly stray cat. This wasn't his life anymore, he concluded._

_Hermione and Ron would marry, that left very little doubt in his mind. They would find a cozy little house with too little space and be warm and human, and normal._

_Surprisingly__, Harry wanted all of those things so desperately it pained him, but he knew the wizarding world was not ready for his form of happily ever after. They wanted him to become a fierce auror and go on making the headlines with his brave stunt__s. They wanted __their own__Lancelot__ to record in the history books;__ to warp him into someone of their imagination._

_With a fluid turn, Harry disappeared into the long cold hallway. No one would miss him really, Ron and Hermione might at first, but they deserve__d to begin their lives. And he__ needed to fin__d out what was the right road for__ him._

_The halls sounded empty and felt devoid of the warmth which Harry had relied on during school._

_Out of the silence cr__e__p__t__ a voice from the end of a short dark corridor, "Aren't you the centerpiece that party is supposed to revolve around Mr. Potter?"_

_The ghostly blue light of a summer evening was cast on the stone floor of Hogwarts. Harry had never noticed that window before; a thin tall window with foggy glass and the crude but beautiful mosaic of warm stained glass in an arch above it, like a holy reliquary._

_When students bustled in and out of these halls, cheery and carefree in their daily distractions, Harry never noticed the simple and ancient beauty of this castle. _

_"They didn't notice me leave, so I hardly think I'll be missed." Harry replied._

_The dark figure of Severus Snape was leaning casually against the window; his gaze never straying from some unknown fascination outside._

_Harry thought Snape looked tall when framed against the soaring window. He took on the grandeur of the architecture Harry had been admiring and consequently the embodiment of the moment, and Harry wondered, if he even held the possible answers to all his misguided questions._

_Stilling himself, Harry stared at the side of the other man's shadowed face, noticing a strong jaw and angular cheek bone__s__ like the features of a European aristocrat. However, Harry never grouped this proud man with the arrogance of the Malfoys __whose__ faces looked __stretched__, or the Lestranges __whose__ eyes looked crazed and __whose__ smiles dripped of malice. No, __H__arry had recently separated this man into a group all his own, though he had no idea how to define it._

_"Are you hap__py?" Harry asked. The words__ popped from his mouth without permission and pierced the silence._

_Snape's muscles tensed and pulled into his body at the __words__ then relaxed and smoothed downwards slowly as though he had expected t__o be asked the invasive question__. Or rather, that he himself had been pondering the same thing._

_"Voldemort is dead, everyone is happy."_

_However, S__everus__ wondered why he didn't feel the same way. He was a free man now, no more servitude and no more loyalties, and yet, an unspoken __part of the lonely man deeply regretted that there was no one to celebrate with, and no one that really cared where he was instead of being at the celebration._

_And Harry, as glorified as he was, regretted having to live for a cause, and wondered if anyone loved him at all, or if they just saw him as a __marvelous__ marble centerpiece, as Snape had called him._

_Now that Harry was free to do as he pleased, he could think of nothing other than a burning desire to be rid of everything that remi__nded him of his servitude to the__ prophesy. He had fulfilled his dues and there could be nothing left for them to expect from him._

_"I suppose so." Harry replied._

_With one last long look at the towering man, Harry turned and continued towards the __Gryffindor__ dorms where an empty trunk was waiting to be filled for a very long journey._

_The dimming image of Severus Snape slithered through Harry's mind once more as he passed another blue lit window, and __he__tried to __dismiss__ a fluttering in his chest as he briefly thought of the shadowy wizard_

* * *

A little clock sitting upon the bookshelf above Harry rang twice, signifying that two and a half long hours had passed since he had crammed himself onto the cool leather couch. 

Harry had been lying awake waiting to see the dim light from under Severus' door extinguish, hoping that when the other man finally seemed to find rest, he might as well. However at the moment, he had given up hope of ever falling asleep. He simply couldn't stop wondering what Severus was thinking about, worrying about, enough that he would be kept awake when he was so obviously exhausted.

With a deep breath, Harry sat up until his knees were pressed against his chest and his back was to Snape's bedroom door. The position stretched his aching back and pushed his stomach muscles down tight so that he could forget the hungry feeling which was roaring through him.

Harry hadn't had the nerve to tell Snape that he hadn't eaten anything since the previous morning, when he had bought a bag of soggy mini muffins at a train station, somehow he knew asking for food would have only worsened the man's hostility towards him.

About an hour ago Harry had crept into the kitchen in the hopes that he would find something to eat which would go unnoticed, but all he had found was a nearly empty bottle of milk, two plums and a few vials of some unrecognizable substance which he assumed must be a potions ingredient. Now however Harry was fully prepared to take both the plums and milk, damn the consequences. In fact, he thought as he stood and stretched, maybe he could wake early and go buy Snape some groceries as a thank you.

Harry found the doorway to the kitchen with his hand and swung around the corner, too carelessly considering the darkness, and with a heavy thump he collided with the sharp corner of a wooden topped counter.

"Shit," he cursed stepping back and clutching his abdomen which was throbbing and pinching and making his hunger pains seem inconsequential.

"Lumos," a silky voice murmured. A spot of bright light leapt out and pierced the darkness as well as Harry's eyes.

"For Merlin's sake Snape, do you have to make it worse?"

The light extinguished and was followed by a shuffling at the other side of the short kitchen.

With and swish and crack Snape lit a match and a set of two tall candles which were placed in the middle of the rickety dining room table.

Harry stood bracing himself with one hand still clutching his side, as Snape's half naked form illuminated. He was shirtless with only a pair of long faded flannel pants.

The sight made Harry's groin twitch, but he quickly suppressed the feeling by focusing on his injury.

"Why are you in my kitchen?" Severus asked.

"I couldn't sleep and – "Harry grimaced as his stomach seemed to echo the sharp pain below his hands. "Well, I was hungry."

Severus looked him over and moved to the fridge to pull out the two plums, then shuffled to Harry, handing him one. "So was I."

Nodding a thank you, Harry plopped down in a kitchen chair, plum in hand, hoping the position would ease the stinging.

Taking a bite of his own fruit, Severus motioned to Harry's covered wound, "Aren't you going to heal that?"

"Uh, later I guess."

"What's wrong Potter; did you lose your wand?"

"Hardly." Harry rebuked, though the pain in his side was almost worth digging out the nearly forgotten wood, just this once. But no, a bruise wasn't enough to have him crawling back to the one thing he had worked so hard to stay away from.

"Why the candles?" He asked, hoping to change the subject.

"I'm afraid I'll never get used to muggle lighting and I'm sure you would have found it far worse than the lumos on your eyes."

Harry nodded his agreement then brought the soft plum to his mouth and began eating away at it, letting each bite contain a piece of sour skin to complete the taste on his palate. When he finished, all the pains in his abdomen had lessened and he felt a bit more relaxed and even soothed by the flickering candles and easy warmth on the side of his face.

"I was thinking that I could buy you some groceries in the morning, as a thank you for allowing me to sleep here."

"There's no need to buy food Potter, I'm leaving for a week the day after tomorrow, and I'd rather not have anything rotting away here."

"A week? Where are you going?"

Severus folded his arms and turned to his tea machine, flicking the little red switch which caused the machine to sizzle. "I really don't see how that is of any concern to you."

"I wasn't trying to be invasive, I was just wondering."

"San Francisco…" Severus told him slowly and leaned against the counter, "I have to go to America."

"Wow that sounds amazing! I haven't had a chance to make my way there yet."

Snape thought Harry looked like a child who was engrossed in the idea of a new toy for Christmas. His eyes had lit up and he was smiling from ear to ear, it almost made Severus feel moderately better about his situation. But not quite.

"It's a business trip –"Severus stopped, "so to speak."

"Dumbledore?"

"No. personal business."

"You have personal business in San Francisco?" Harry asked.

"As of recently."

The hypnotic sound of the teapot dripping gave Severus an excuse to avoid the direction of the conversation, so he turned and poured himself half a cup of weak earl gray. "Like I said Potter, It's none of your business, nor your concern. But I will need you to finish up with whatever you came here for and be on your way before tomorrow night." He paused. "Do you want tea?"

Harry twirled the slimy plum core between his fingers, he couldn't deny how curious he was, whether it was his business or not was beside the point. "Is there a reason why I can't know?"

"Perhaps because I don't want to tell you." Severus snapped, "Besides, what makes you think you're entitled to know my business?"

"I wasn't suggesting that I was for fucks sake." Harry stood and walked to the plastic trash bin. "And I think the real question is why you still need to be such an ass hole to everyone around you. At this rate you're never going to be any happier than you are now, and believe me you're not fooling anyone by pretending you're content with this miserable lifestyle." Harry felt little bubbles of frustration towards this stubborn man boiling up inside of him.

Severus watched Harry disappear back into the little entry way and heard him pounce onto the old couch which made a creaking sound against the wood floors.

Severus sighed. He was getting far too old to deal with children, and yet, Harry wasn't a child anymore was he, and furthermore he hadn't said anything to him just now that wasn't inordinately true. Severus took a long swallow of his tea and set it down firmly on the counter.

He stepped around the doorway and stood staring at the cramped figure. Harry was lying very still, defiantly ignoring the presence over him.

"I have a daughter." Severus told him simply. "I found out a few weeks ago, she lives in San Francisco and I'm going to spend a week with her. And, if you really need to know everything about my miserable life as you call it, you should know that I'm scared to death that she won't like me." He stopped. "How's that Potter, are you content now?"

Harry turned to look up at him, but Severus had squeezed out all his emotional energy, and was finished with this confrontation. "So if you'll just excuse me, I'm going to bed now, I suddenly feel very tired."

"You have a daughter?" The voice interrupted him as he moved steadily to his bedroom.

"Are you hearing impaired Potter, or did I not just tell you that."

"Well I know, but… how is that possible?"

Severus turned to look back at the young man who was becoming a mounting frustration on his already frazzled nerves. "Surely I don't need to explain this to you."

Harry turned and stood up off the couch, "But I thought you were -"

"And you thought correct. This was a very long time ago, so long in fact that I hadn't thought about the incident for years. Unfortunately now it's all I can think about."

Harry thought Snape looked like something out of a great epic, mysterious somehow at that moment, his form was nothing but a dark outline, the light from the cracked bedroom door creating a halo around the man's sleek curves.

"I'm sorry I said those things, I realize I don't know anything about you really. It was a cruel presumption."

Harry couldn't see the other man's face, but he thought he might have caught a slight nod, which was enough of an acceptance for him.

Severus pulled his wand out from under his waistband and pointed it decisively at the couch. "Engorgio," he muttered. The couch swelled to almost double its size, now taking up nearly half the entry way and pressing into the bookshelves on either side.

Harry looked down at the larger and very comfortable looking couch and smiled.

"Good night Potter, please don't do anything in the morning that makes noise."

That night, both men feel asleep easily and slept soundly. Snape had found comfort in revealing his worries, though he might not realize it, and Harry was for the most part, simply glad to have the extra space.

* * *

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	4. Chapter 4

_refer__ to chapter one for disclaimer and warnings._

_enjoy!_

* * *

**Chapter 4 **

Willow Morgan stabbed her chow mien with white plastic fork, hearing one of the long thin prongs snap at the bottom of the paper box. "I hate it when they forget to give you chop sticks."

"For God's sake! Are you purposely trying to ignore me?"

Willow tossed the broken fork onto the dark wood table and fished the broken piece out with her fingers, then stuck the slimy digits into her mouth. "No."

"Will you please turn that off?" he motioned to the little white television set which was filling the room with the low rumble of some evening game show.

"It's not bothering me." She replied.

Stewart paused in his work; he looked as if he wanted to remind her that she wasn't the only one that mattered, as he often did. But instead he just twirled the orange screw driver he was holding around in his fist and reached back up to continue screwing the cheap fan into the ceiling.

Stewart Stanwyck was Willow's best friend, though she'd never told him that. Stewart was a graduate student who lived on the ground floor of the unit beside her, he was attractive and strong, and seemed to know how to do nearly everything, and she had come to rely on him to take care of the things she couldn't do herself. However over time, he began coming over more often for a movie on her couch, or for late night walk and long talks. And as was Willow's tendency, she never noticed that it was his growing affections for her which fueled this change.

"Willow!" he nearly shouted, before calmly repeating, "Why didn't you tell me you had a father?"

She stood up and went in search of a pair of chop sticks in the kitchen. "Everyone has a father."

"Of course everyone has a father – believe me," he took a long breath as he twisted the screwdriver again, his arms beginning to ache, "I have many less than picture perfect memories of my own."

Willow stepped into the kitchen doorway and laid her hip against the doorframe, "Oh Stewart! Why didn't you tell me?" she asked sarcastically, then smirked and disappeared again.

"Alright, point taken. But still, why didn't you ever talk about it?"

"I'm talking about it now, aren't I?" She sat back down with a pair of chopsticks she had thrown in her junk drawer and a pastel green napkin.

"This isn't the same, it's almost like you wanted to wait and see if he'd accept you first."

Willow brought her knees up to her chest and shrugged, trying to suppress the truth of his words. "Maybe I did."

"Oh." Stewart stopped and looked at the back of Willow's thin hunched back, he couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her like this, in fact, he was pretty sure he'd never seen her upset about anything. She was so resilient, so unaffected. This new side to her made her seem so much more human. Something in the silence forced him off the ladder. "Willow – Willow you know you can talk to me about anything right? I'm always -"

"Stewart!" her sharp tone stopped him abruptly. "I'm fine. The last thing I need right now is pity."

He was speechless, He had always known that Willow was private and strong willed, but somehow he'd hoped that when the right moment came around, that she would turn to him, and well, need him. Stewart spun around and began gathering up his things, this was too much, he could handle rejection from her, he had handled rejection all his life, but what he couldn't handle was letting her rejection get under his skin.

"You're leaving?" Her voice sounded apologetic, but he had never heard an apology from her before, and doubted she would start tonight.

"Yes Willow. Yes, I'm leaving…" Stewart tossed his messenger bag over his shoulder and picked his keys off the kitchen table. "You know, any other woman, absolutely anyone else, would have noticed by now."

"Noticed what?"

She looked so beautiful when she was like this, when she found herself out of control of a situation, it was something that didn't happen very often. "It's just not worth it anymore. I want to be closer to you, but, I don't think there's anyone who you would ever let close to you."

"That's not fair -"

Stewart opened the door with a smirk of irony, "It never fails Willow, you simply can't allow yourself to feel anything, for anyone can you?" It was amazing how surprised she looked, how was it possible for her to have not noticed anything? She looked to the mumbling T.V. then stood up, her brows furrowed and her shoulders tense. "You want to be close to me?"

"I did." And with that he left, the heavy door crashing loudly behind him.

Willow took a deep breath and lowered herself back down, staring blankly at the television, her thoughts rumbling through her head faster than she could ever sort them out. Memories of Stewart tracing patterns on her palm as they watched Casablanca. The way his smile had become brighter the last few months, and the dozens of things he had found to fix for her, before she even asked. It's almost like, it's almost like he was looking for reasons to come around.

"Shit." She said aloud, her voice weak and regretful. How could she have not noticed? Her chest felt tight and her eyes were stinging. "Double shit." She never cried, she hated crying, but she knew that there was nothing that could stop the tears from falling.

Suddenly, as if timed with an overwhelming surge of emotion, the little T.V.'s channels began flying by, changing at an unnatural speed. "Double shit." Willow frantically searched for the remote control. Finally finding it squashed between her couch cushions, she flicked the haywire television off.

This nerve-racking strangeness was the last thing she needed to deal with right now. She had worked so hard to keep her emotions controlled so that these very things wouldn't happen. She buried her face in the thick fabric of her sweater, "Triple shit."

* * *

Harry woke slowly to the sound of occupied pipes. The crisp morning air was seeping through a crack in a window beside Snape's front door. Shivering lightly, Harry reached down and grabbed the edge of the ugly plaid blanket and pulled it up to his neck where he could feel the chill tickle his exposed throat. Slowly, he began to drift off to sleep again, where, he hoped, he might meet the remnants of a delicious dream.

* * *

"This isn't a bloody bed and breakfast Potter." 

Harry woke with a start, then quickly calmed when he remembered where he was. "You're a bastard."

"So I've been told, now wake up. I bought you a scone."

"You did?"

"I don't invite people to sleep here unless I intend to feed them."

Harry opened one eye, the sunlight was considerably brighter than the last time he'd woke this morning. "I thought you said that you never invite people to sleep here." Harry swung his legs over the side of the couch and rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hands.

"My point exactly," came the curt reply from deep within the kitchen.

Harry stood up and rustled his hair which felt dense and oily; he would definitely need a shower this morning. Harry remembered how often he went without a shower for days while traveling. He had come to realize that he greatly valued feeling clean. Harry shuffled into the kitchen and plopped down in a wooden chair. "I need a shower."

"I'll alert the daily prophet immediately."

Harry smiled and lifted his feet up, tucking them under his calves. "You said something about a scone."

Severus turned and tossed a plate with a dark scone onto the table in front of Harry. Famished, Harry began devouring it in a very impolite manner, little crumbs of blueberries and sugar beginning to decorate both the table and the front of his shirt.

"Am I starving you, or do you always attack your food?"

Harry smiled. "Both."

Severus watched Harry's jaws work furiously, and it seemed that every visible muscle in the man's body seemed to pulse, simply as the result of eating. This kind of distraction felt pleasant and welcome for a moment, but Severus refocused himself, there was a lot he had to do, and very little time left to do it, and Potter, though entertaining, was not helping in the slightest. "As I said Potter, I am very busy currently."

"I remember."

"And I'm sure you have somewhere you need to be."

Harry shrugged, and stood up. "No."

"Nowhere at all?"

"Nope, nowhere at all. I haven't decided what I want to do next. Except take a shower that is. Do you mind?" He gestured towards the hall bathroom door.

"Any chance you'll leave after you're fed and clean." Snape picked up the plate off the table and set it in the sink to be washed.

"You really want me out badly, don't you?"

"I never wanted you here in the first place." Snape's scowl and cruel bite had snapped into place.

Harry looked hurt, but just for a fleeting moment. "I know, I don't even know why I came; In fact I shouldn't have come at all." Harry nodded and then began walking toward the bathroom, "Thanks for the place to sleep, the shower, everything. I would have been up all night on a train otherwise." Severus could tell Harry was trying to make light of the situation, to seem mature and unaffected, but he would never know how transparent he was. "Are there towels in there?"

"No actually, there all in my bathroom. You might as well use that shower, its cleaner."

Harry nodded then disappeared into the bedroom. It made Snape uneasy thinking of him in his bedroom, his bathroom, amongst his most private things, but he couldn't very well take back the offer now.

Snape returned to the kitchen to eat his own scone and wash the breakfast dishes, resolved to forget about Potter, he would be leaving in a few minutes anyway. But still, Snape couldn't help but remember the way Harry had looked, naked and stretched out across his bed at Hogwarts those many months ago. And as he heard the water running in the bedroom, Snape began to picture what Harry might look like right at that moment.

* * *

Snape's bedroom was just as Harry would have imagined. It was clean and simple, small and cozy and there was very little furnishing. There was a smallish bed with a night stand and lamp, and a tall wardrobe with no mirror. There were long, thread bare grey drapes on either side of the window and a green wingback chair in the corner. However it was the mess of open books piled and strewn on the floor next to the bed, which really made the room feel warm and familiar. Smiling Harry walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. 

While Harry let the water heat, he stripped off his skirt and long pajama pants and tossed them into a wicker basket on the floor. He then turned to the medicine cabinet, he couldn't help but be curious. He popped open the door and peered inside. There were four shelves. The top two were packed with vials, each one unmarked other than a few letters and symbols arranged into what he guessed were Snape's own labeling system.

He could only imagine what Snape would possibly need all of them for, Harry had gone a few years without a single potion and for the most part, he was fine… Although. Suddenly Harry began to recall all the incidents when he wasn't quite so fine without magical medicine. The broken thumb which had to heal naturally, and the broken nose, which he now thought made his nose looked hooked, though no one had mentioned anything yet. Then there was the bee sting, to which he was allergic, and the stomach flu, and the split lip. Come to think of it, there were quite a few things that Harry had began to accept as daily trivialities, which could be easily relieved with a sip of one of these potions. But it was the headaches mainly, sometimes terrible headaches that muggle medicine could do nothing to help, probably because they were headaches that had more to do with his magic, than his body. Harry reached out and grabbed a vial filled with a bright blue liquid, the same color of the potion Madame Pomfery used to give him for these headaches at school. He carefully put it back and observed the rest of the cabinet. The third shelf held a heavy looking old fashioned gold razor, a white porcelain cup with foamy edges and a worn bristled brush. Snape always did keep a clean shave. The final shelf held a muggle tooth brush and a jar, which knowing Snape held his own toothpaste. Finally Harry pulled back the shower curtain and slipped in.

After he had showered dried off and shook his wet hair until it looked reasonably well tussled, and would therefore dry into its usual unruly mess, Harry reached down to grab his clothes, but, they weren't there. Where could they possibly have gone, he had locked the door, and it was ridiculous to think that Snape would have done anything so childish as to steal his clothes, so – and then he remembered. Wrapping the towel around his waist Harry went to open the door, and then he stopped, smirked and reached down to push the towel as far down on his hips as he dared. If he had to face Snape in a towel, he was damn well going to make the best of it, he couldn't think of a better opportunity, or reason to tease him.

Harry strolled through the bedroom and into the living room where Severus was sitting behind his desk, head bowed and resting between his thumb and index finger; he looked as though he were reading something very important, or confusing. Harry put one hand on his bare hip then cleared his throat.

* * *

It just didn't make sense; Dumbledore had sent a muggle envelope with a letter by owl moments ago. Apparently his conformation information had been sent and Dumbledore had explained that he didn't feel comfortable opening other peoples mail. Which of course, was bullocks. Severus knew without a doubt that Dumbledore was merely amusing himself by torturing him with Muggle customs, terminology and technology which he had no idea how to comprehend. Snape sighed, there was only one thing to do unfortunately, and that was to ask Potter. 

Snape's line of thought was interrupted with a cough. Looking up sharply, he had to gather all his control not to slide off his chair. Harry was even more stunning than he remembered, he didn't know if it was because he was wet, in a towel, in _his_ towel, in his house, or if it was just because he was much, much more sober, but it really didn't matter at that moment. "Is there a reason why you're half naked Potter?"

Harry smiled. "Just wanted to show you what you're missing," he said bravely, he couldn't tell if the wide eyed glare was shock or threat. "You're laundry basket ate my clothes."

Severus tore his gaze away and tried to still himself, he was becoming tense in a most unbecoming way. He definitely needed to stop reacting like a teenager. "It's self cleaning. Are you so dense that you couldn't tell?"

"Well, it's been awhile since I've used one."

"How odd." Most wizards would go crazy if they had to clean their own clothes, it was one simple luxury that nearly every witch and wizard enjoyed. "It'll return in an hour or so."

Harry nodded, "I figured."

The two men stared at each other for along awkward moment before finally, "Are you going to offer me some clothes? Or are you enjoying the view that much?"

"Don't be ridiculous. I –"He was about to say something cruel and possibly hurtful, but thought better of it. Somehow he felt no joy at all when he insulted Potter anymore. After last night he had found that something had changed in his view of the man. He simply hated seeing him hurt, although he would never in a million years admit to it. "Never mind. I'll give you something of mine to wear."

* * *

A few minutes later Harry emerged from the bedroom in one of Severus' newest white shirts, he had rolled the sleeves up and kept the top three buttons undone, which made the shirt which was usually very formal and stiff, look young and becoming. And a pair of loose black slacks, Harry's bare feet were protruding from under a pool of fabric around the well tailored cuffs. Severus thought he had never looked sexier. 

"Your slacks don't fit me." He said casually as he plopped down on the big leather chair. "You might be happy to know that you have a thinner waist line than me. I could only zip them half way. You really need to eat more."

Snape rolled his eyes then returned to studying the strange paper on his desk. "I eat fine, perhaps you eat too much."

Harry laughed. "Perhaps I just have a lot of muscle mass." Harry poked his chest as if testing his claim. He then lifted up his shirt and stared at his stomach. "Or maybe I need to eat less."

Snape looked up and observed the man's flat and firm stomach. "You don't need to lose any weight Potter, you look fine."

"Just fine?"

Snape scowled. "Don't push it."

Dropping the fabric and smoothing it down, Harry stood up and walked to stand beside Severus. "What are you doing? You look like a first year trying to transfigure a fork into a parakeet."

Snape shoved the paper at Harry in frustration. "Tell me what the hell this is trying to tell me, and don't even think about asking any more questions."

Harry took the paper and spent a minute looking it over. "It's a muggle airline confirmation. It's telling you your flight number, departure time, gate number, etcetera."

Snape sighed, "I gathered its general purpose, can you please decode it on some parchment for me, and then explain what the hell I do with this ridiculously complicated information."

Harry smiled then pulled the chair he had sat in last night to the opposite side of the desk and sat down. Grabbing a quill and a piece of parchment from a stack on Snape's desk, he began copying the important information down in a neat list. When he was finished he turned the paper around and began to explain. "Alright, you are flying to San Francisco tomorrow, correct?"

Snape nodded.

"Okay, you're flying on an airline called American Airlines, so when you go to the airport in London, you need to find the section of the airport where this airline checks customers in. Then you need to show them the letter and a passport, and they will give you a ticket. They can also check in your luggage. Then you need to –"

"For Merlin's sake Potter slow down."

Harry stopped and looked up. "It's not making any sense?" he asked.

"No it's making sense, I just -" Snape lifted the paper off the table and looked over the names and numbers. "This is all way to stressful. Why do terrible stressful things always accompany other terrible and stressful things?" He set the paper back down.

"Well, what if I offered to take you to the airport, get you checked in and to the gate. Make it easy."

"Absolutely not."

"I don't have to know anymore than I do now to help you board a plane for God's sake, and I wouldn't mind, I do it all the time." Harry stopped. Once again, he'd revealed a little too much about the changes in his personal life, the one thing he'd rather Snape not know.

"Why do you need to fly Muggle planes?"

"That's none of your business, especially since you're being such a bitch whenever your own personal life comes into the conversation."

Severus was taken aback, he had sensed there was something amiss about Potter, something that he was avoiding being brought up just as desperately as he had been avoiding discussing his daughter. And part of him was aching to know, yearning to delve into the man's deepest secrets, thought that was also something he would never, in a thousand years, admit to.

"Fine." Snape rolled up the parchment and tied it. "I believe you clothes are dry."

* * *

_The next chapter is coming very soon. Sorry about the wait.  
_

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* * *


	5. Chapter 5

_refer__ to chapter one for disclaimer and warnings._

_enjoy!_

* * *

"I think it's a great idea!" Harry demanded as he trailed after Severus who was swarming about the house, looking for anything he might need while spending a week with muggles. The idea was still rubbing him the wrong way, making him very nervous. Therefore, he knew the man had a point, but it was a lie and he swore that he would not lie to the poor girl…except of course about magic. And that was just a little lie. Well, actually it was a huge lie.

"Severus would you stop!"

Severus stopped dead in his tracks and turned a deadly glare on the man. "I told you that you did not have permission to use my first…"

"I know, I know." Harry interjected. "For fuck sake I know, but I couldn't get your attention. When you set your mind to something, you're ruthless, even when it's ignoring me."

Severus reached up and snatched a very old muggle studies book from a top shelf and dusted it off. "Yes. And I promise you it's no easy task."

Harry plopped down into Snape's leather chair. "The least you could do is tell me what is so revolting about the idea of having me with you on this trip. You know you could use someone who understands the Muggle world."

Snape sighed and swept out of the room and went to set the book on his bed. There, that's everything he could possibly think of needing.

"Toothbrush." Harry's voice came from the doorway.

Severus cursed and then disappeared briefly into the bathroom and reemerged with a toothbrush and the little white jar.

The sky was dark. It was nearly ten p.m. and Potter was probably expecting to be offered a place to sleep again. Earlier that day, after Harry had redressed and gathered his things together, Severus, in a moment of weakness and stupidity had mentioned that he was going into town to buy odds and ends for the trip, and had coldly offered to buy Harry lunch, a cheap lunch, he warned, before he left to find the train. The afternoon had worn on and Harry offered to help him back with the bags, and then offered to help clean up, while Severus started packing.

And then it happened. Then Harry had come up with his brilliant plan, which had stripped his evening which he had hoped would be peaceful, into tatters of argument and insult. _"I can come with you, as your lover." Harry had said, almost jokingly._

_"Don't flatter yourself Potter. Besides I thought I told you that I'm not interested in-"_

_"Not for real. I would go with you on the trip, pretend to be your lover. And it would solve all your problems." The man's face was beaming._

_"Are you completely daft Potter, that does nothing buy severely complicate my already complicated problems."_

_"No, listen." Severus rolled his eyes. "I don't know what you__'__r__e so__ worried about because you won__'__t tell me, but I can wager a guess." Now Harry looked more serious, like he was about to breach a delicate subject, which of course, he was.__"You want her to know your gay, I know you do, I can tell. And if I were you I'd be bonkers trying to think how to tell a daughter you just met that her father is-"_

_"I __understand__." Severus stopped him, he didn't like knowing he was so transparent._

_"Well if you get off the plane with me-"_

_"Get off your high horse Potter, to a muggle your nothing but another face in the crowd. I promise you she won't think any more of me because I'm with the boy who lived."_

_"That wasn't my point." Harry looked strained in his effort to convince him._

_"I know, I would just look less pathetic with a young handsome lover than if I came as a lonely old queer fool. Is that the p__oint?__"_

_Harry was speechless. "Is that what you think of yourself?"_

_"It's none of your fucking business, what I think of myself." _

And from there it had continued, the argument growing more and more personal and more and more emotionally draining. It had been at least an hour, and Severus was exhausted, and torn apart by Potters brutal digging into his deepest worries and self doubts.

But what really bothered him was why it mattered so damn much to the man. Why the hell did he care? The idea, granted, was the perfect solution to all his problems of the moment. But what worried Severus was what Potters motives were, and that's why he had been refusing so profusely.

Severus turned and looked at Harry. "You can sleep here tonight, but you need to leave first thing in the morning. Beyond that, we're finished discussing this." His response was cold and clear. He was tired and in no state to open his life up to his man anymore than he had already. It was simply too much of a risk, he decided.

Harry stood in the dark doorway for a moment, only the dim light of a few candles burning in the house illuminating his features. He looked beautiful, radiant. And with a curt nod, he turned and disappeared into the living room, kicking the bedroom door closed behind him.

* * *

"Get out."

"No."

Snape turned over, his back to the figure which was standing in the doorframe. Potter had thought he was asleep no doubt, but there was no way he could ever sleep tonight, there was far too much on his mind. "Leaving early?"

"Perhaps. That depends."

"For God sakes." Severus threw the covers off and slung his legs over the side of the bed and rubbed his eyes, focusing them enough to make out the figure in the pitch dark house.

Slowly Harry walked to stand next to the bed. Severus could now see that he was fully dressed, his bag even draped over his shoulder, and his face was stone and solemn, nothing like the annoying determination of earlier that evening. And all at once he felt terrible. "I told you that you may sleep here tonight."

"And I heard you. But there's no point. I can catch the first train out; I won't have to wait long at all."

"What time is it?" Severus looked towards the clock which hung over the door; however it was far too dark to see anything but its shadowy outline.

"Around 3:30."

Severus blinked and looked to Harry. Normally he would be glad to let this odd relationship end here, him with cold indifference and Potter hurt terribly. But the problem was…he wasn't indifferent.

"I'm afraid to meet her alone."

Harry flinched, momentarily taken aback by his bluntness. "I know. I would be too. I would be terrified to do that alone."

Snape snorted. "Yes, I gathered that from the previous conversation." There was a long silence as both men just stared into the darkness, only the sound of their slow breaths and the hypnotic ticking of the clock. With a sigh, Harry slid his bag off his shoulder and sat down next to Snape on the unruly sheets.

Severus snapped his gaze to Harry, his eyes threatening, though he doubted he could tell. Finally after another long silence, Severus realized that Harry was waiting for him to make the next move in the conversation. "I want to know why it matters to you."

"Why what matters to me?"

"Why it matters to you what I'm going through. And why you want to waste your time pretending to be something you're not. And why the hell, you want to be around me?"

Harry smiled. "Do you want the truth? Or the answers that will keep from further complicating all of this?"

Severus thought. He wanted to know the truth, but he wasn't sure if he could handle anything else. "Better go with the uncomplicated answer."

Harry nodded. "Well then. I have nothing to do with my life right now; I've always wanted to go to San Francisco, and pretending to be your lover has possibilities of being rather entertaining. Or in other words… I don't have anything better to do."

Severus suppressed a laugh. "You never were very good at finding something productive to do with your time. However… that doesn't really answer everything I asked you."

"No. Because you didn't want the truth, remember?"

"How, much more complicated would the truth make this, exactly."

"Quite a bit, I imagine."

Snape sighed. "I'll let you come along, assuming you promise to uphold the utmost secrecy. And you don't embarrass me."

Harry smiled broadly. "I promise, and I promise you'll be glad I came, I really do."

Severus stood up and shooed Harry off his coverlet, "We'll see about that. Now go away, I'm tired" Then, with a grunt and a sigh, Severus slipped into bed and closed his eyes, never noticing that Harry was still standing beside him silently watching.

Harry felt his chest twitch as Severus, who hadn't seemed to get a wink of sleep since he arrived, fall fast asleep before him, a gentle and deep breath moving slowly in and out of his half open lips.

Carefully, Harry reached over and laid the pad of his thumb against Severus forehead, rubbing against the delicate hairs of his eyebrows, then swiping a stray hair off his closed eye. Suddenly Harry felt his wrist surrounded by Severus's firm grip, an utterly domineering squeeze that made him feel as if he could melt into the older man's will.

Severus's eyes were open now, foggy and half lidded, but filled with all the heat Harry was feeling grow steadily in his groin as if Severus had channeled his own arousal to him through nothing more than a firm touch on the wrist.

Snape's thumb began to move, sensually against Harry's raised veins and he felt himself being lowered down as if in slow motion, like a long drawn out moment, until, he was a breath away from the thin half parted lips below him.

All those many months ago, what Harry had shared with this man had been hot and passionate, but it had been nothing but sex, no emotion, no complications. And no kissing. But this, this offering of lip to lip, the closest deepest mingling of breath seemed to Harry to be the most electrifying anticipation of all. More than any sexual touch he could imagine. If he were to kiss Snape… no, Severus, however strange and unbelievable, Harry knew from the foreign twinge in his chest that there would be no turning back.

And then, quicker than it had begun, Harry was pushed back, stumbling a bit until he stood, awkwardly staring at the bed.

"Go to sleep."

Harry pursed his lips, they were dry and just as they had been before, lacking the deliciousness he would have achieved if he had been able to close that distance.

"Go. To. Sleep." Snape's tone was deep and stern, threatening even. Harry hadn't moved a muscle, and wasn't sure if he could. Severus sat up on the bed now, one leg thrown over the side and his head resting in his hand like he was pressing out a deep pain in his temples.

Harry let out a breath he had been holding and searched the dark room for his bag. Spotting it on the rug near the end of the bed, he slung it over his shoulder and turned his back on the dark figure. And then… with a snap of pure instinct and reflex, Harry whipped around and with eyes closed and laid his lips firmly against the unprepared man behind him, his muscles tight in preparation of being thrown away.

But he wasn't, and the feeling was divine. And although the softness was frozen beneath him, too shocked to move a muscle, he revealed in the moment. Finally the lips twitched, just slightly and Harry took the opportunity to swipe his tongue over the quivering crease, urging them open just long enough to take advantage with his tongue and a sensual touch to the neck. It was just what he wanted, and just what he knew would tempt Severus to come back for more. After a long moment, they parted slightly, their breaths heavy against each other's lips as they cleared their jumbled thoughts.

But Harry knew better than to let Severus regain his composure, so with another brief and delicious kiss, Harry parted and swept away to dash for the door.

"Should I take that as your complicated answer?" Severus asked with a rich aroused tone which Harry had never heard before, one that made his erection press even harder against is unmercifully tight jeans.

"I think that about sums it up." Then Harry disappeared behind the door, clicking it closed and leaving Severus feeling terribly alone and confused, but very aroused.

* * *

Willow walked to the arrival times screen for the fifth time, just to discover that the one way flight from London to San Francisco was indeed right on time, which meant that any hopes for delaying the inevitable were fading fast. 7:35 blinked leisurely next to the flight number, and looking down at her thin silver watch, she found that the minute hand was still approaching the half past mark alarmingly fast.

Shit.

* * *

"What time is it?"

Harry looked over his shoulder at a large digital read at the back of the plane. "Almost 7:15… we'll be landing soon."

"I know. I heard the pilot as clearly as you did."

"Then why are you asking the time?"

Severus shifted in his seat, throwing his right leg over his left and turning his shoulder to Harry. It was starting to infuriate him how cool and collected, and horribly amused Harry could be when the situation was making him a raving mess of panic.

This whole situation was a mess, a complete mistake and a mess.

"We should talk about what were going to say now Sev-Snape" Harry corrected himself. "You've been avoiding the subject all day."

"Yes well nearly twelve hours sitting next to you haven't been exactly a walk in the park Mr. Potter."

Harry flinched. "Do not. Call me. Mr. Potter."

"I can call you whatever I damn well please."

"I'm not a child anymore and I demand the right to be respected. And if I can't call you Severus, then you can never call me Mr. Potter like one of your students."

A heavy stillness settled over them. Harry was furiously frustrated, he had hoped the events of last night would invoke some sort of change in the tense relationship, perhaps show Severus that he truly cared. But instead Severus had acted as though nothing had happened at all, still bickering and insulting and creating all the exhausting tension Harry had come to associate with this man.

"If you want to think of a story than go right ahead. Then tell me what terrible concoction you thought of and I'll be sure to remember."

Harry sighed. This was much more difficult than he had hoped that it would be."Alright. We'll tell her… that I was one of your students – which is true."

Severus rolled his eyes.

"And we'll tell her that when I was 16 we had a torrid affair which sent you to jail for over a year. But we were so in love that we would never let anything come between us… Which is of course not true, but a little white lie can't hurt."

"Do that and you'll find your dick buried somewhere in the Sahara."

Harry laughed. "Please tell me what you want her to know, what will make you the most comfortable because it's not my place."

Out the window Severus watched a cloud surround the plane, cutting off his view of the bare American landscape and refocusing him. "We shall tell her that you were a student of mine, and that after a long absence we met and the relationship began from there."

Harry nodded. "So, the truth."

"As much of it as I can manage. However we will say we've been together for a year or so. And that's it."

Harry smiled, "I agree, that's perfect."

"I really don't need your approval."

Harry smirked and looked the other way. He spotted an elderly couple, peacefully resting their heads against each other and he felt a sharp wave of regret, wondering if he would ever have that… could ever have that, being who he was, and the kinds of shallow star drunk men he usually associated with. It wasn't likely, not at all.

* * *

"Do you want me to hold your hand?"

"Don't you fucking dare."

The two men trailed beside each other through the long dim corridor which was weaving towards the noisy terminal. Severus wore a terribly attractive and well tailored muggle outfit which Harry had magically altered himself until the man looked positively striking, but Severus was still nervously brushing the sleeves and pulling at the hems, saying he felt naked and ragged.

They turned the corner and were exposed to the harsh florescent light, which always made Severus feel exposed and analyzed, like a dead creature under one of his potion lamps. He had no idea who he was looking for, any one of these girls could be her, and yet somehow he hoped he would know his daughter if he saw her.

"Do you know what she looks like?" Harry asked from beside him, setting down his heavy duffel bag on one of the tiny plastic chairs.

"No."

Severus scanned the room, a couple joyfully embraced and the young woman whispered something that made the man laugh.

A child held her mother's hand as she walked back and forth over the connected chairs.

An elderly woman in a tight bun drank coffee at a tall espresso bar… And then he saw her, she was standing with her back against the wall, her dark eyes focused on the girl who was braving the chairs. She didn't look like him, he thought, but she looked exactly like his mother, exactly. He felt the throb of hot tears behind his eyes and desperately suppressed them.

"I see her." He told Harry.

"Are you sure? Where?"

Severus pointed discretely, hoping she didn't notice him; she must have been too distracted to notice the passengers exiting the plane.

"She's beautiful Severus."

Severus nodded then took a deep breath and began the long walk to the small figure at the other side of the room. As he approached she caught the movement in the corner of her eye and jumped, meeting his eyes proudly, then to his delight, she smiled.

"Willow Morgan I presume?"

* * *

_Sorry about the wait! I've been a very busy, but things have settled down._

_Don't forget to review! Anything is appreciated :) _

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

_refer__ to chapter one for disclaimer and warnings._

_enjoy!_

* * *

Seeing that he too was scared shitless made her own nerves settle comfortably into her stomach. Only one of them need to be this nervous and if he was willing to take the role than she was glad to hand it over. She smiled. He was fantastic, nothing like what she imagined, which made him positively perfect because nothing she had imagined would have fit. Every imaginable father figure she observed on the side of the road, or on the bus, was horribly cliché and dull. And he certainly didn't seem dull.

"Willow Morgan I presume?"

She joyfully nodded, and try as she might she couldn't keep the smile off her face, "Yes I'm Willow. Of course, and your Severus Snape?"

The frightfully tall and lanky man nodded in an almost regal way, his thin black hair moving in the same wistful way against his cheek as her feathery hair often did in the breeze. She'd always hated her hair but suddenly it didn't seem so bad, she was no longer a misfit for not inheriting the crazy mess of frizz and curl that her mother sported.

Out of the corner of her eye Willow spotted a man who was approaching her father with heavy looking duffel over his shoulder. At first she thought he might be headed for the water fountain beside her but instead he stopped and let the duffel fall to the floor. Then, to her surprise, he casually slipped his hand into her father's right.

Severus nodded again, "Ms. Morgan I'd like you to meet my –"he paused. "-friend… Harry Potter."

Willow smiled knowingly and held out her hand, "Well, it's lovely to meet you Mr. Potter."

"No, no, never mister. I'm Harry. And it's great to meet you too. Severus has been thinking of nothing else."

Severus swiftly dropped Harry's hand. "Yes. If you wouldn't mind Ms. Morgan I would like to use the facilities."

Willow's smile faded a bit, her mind buzzing with confusion. "Of course, I think the men's room is at the end of that corridor, next to gate 65." She smiled sweetly and followed the figure with her eyes as he practically floated away.

"That wasn't what it sounded like."

Willow whipped her head back; she had almost forgotten that the younger man was still standing there, "Huh?"

"He was angry at me. It had nothing to do with you." He paused. "It was a long flight."

She nodded. "Oh. Well, good. I had hoped it wasn't something I said, or did."

"No." He smiled. "And when I said he's been thinking about nothing else, I didn't mean to imply anything negative, you know, in case you were concerned."

Willow nodded. "No. Well, a little. I am, that is, a little worried that no matter what he says, or anyone says for that matter… That I've been a terrible burden to him… It's just that I just had to know that my father knew that I existed, if nothing else, you know?"

Harry was mesmerized by the soft twinkle in her eyes when she spoke, and the genuine insecurity mixed with intimidating strength that reminded him rather fondly of someone else he knew. "Severus is a very proud man, and, he would never think that someone with his blood running through their veins is a burden. Never."

With those words spoken so sincerely, it was as if Willow was suddenly filled with pride herself. And whether the feeling would eventually die away or not, she was elated in that moment to think that her father would think she was valuable. It was much more than she had ever thought to hope for.

Her mother was like an orphan, a nomad, she had no family connections. And somehow it had always made Willow feel terribly lost. And even though she had had a mother, a home, and plenty of love, she always wished that she was a piece missing from a much larger puzzle.

Spotting her father approaching from the end of the long crowded corridor, Willow decided to tackle her last question while there was still time. "So?" she smiled mischievously. "Friends?"

Harry blushed. "Oh. Well. We're, you know… not just." he paused, stuck on how to best continue.

Willow laughed. "Well, I promise to pretend like it isn't obvious."

* * *

The chilly winds were a welcome surprise when Severus stepped out into the dimly covered street that ran outside the automatic doors of SFO International. His nerves were getting the better of him, and a little chill would do him good and allow him to try and forget that he was so very far from home, and so very out of his comfort zone.

"I can drive you to your hotel if you'd like, I brought my car."

Harry dropped his duffel hard on the ground; he was struggling to appear unaffected by the weight. "Severus! Did you remember to book a hotel?"

He smirked and looked to his daughter. "I thought it better to find out where you suggest Ms. Morgan, based upon your location. I chance of course there being no availability, but I was unsure about –"

"Oh sure! And there'll be plenty of availability, there's nothing special going on in the city and… Oh God!" She looked suddenly pale. "I should have offered to let you room at my apartment, how rude." She really was just as nervous as he was, Severus thought, just much more uninhibited about her reaction. "I only have one bedroom, but I'd be more than happy to give it to the two of-"

"Thank you very much Ms. Morgan, that's very kind, but I really wouldn't want to impose. Mr. Potter and I will be very happy in a hotel."

"Okay. Yea, that's probably better. Well in that case I know a great little boutique hotel, and its walking distance."

"That would be fine, thank you."

Willow rambled on a few moments more, raving about the fresh flowers and the lovely doorman. The big room overlooking Golden Gate Park and the reasonable prices. Then in another fit of embarrassment she remembered to lead them to her car.

"I'll take your duffle Potter." Severus whispered.

"Why?"

"You look as though your arm is about to fall off. I've never seen anyone smile so brightly while in pain."

"You really don't have to."

"It's fine."

Harry grinned inwardly and followed after the two.

* * *

"Yes sir, we have a few rooms available immediately. That will be no problem, let me just go and see which are clean and ready." The short, dark skinned man disappeared behind a little blue door.

Harry was standing at the counter, his hands in his pockets and ignoring how tense and uncomfortable Severus was at being seen buying a hotel room with another man. "Snape," he whispered, glancing quickly to Willow who was happily engaged at the other end of the long lobby, looking at a framed painting of a bright flowery vineyard. "You are going to buy one room, not two, right?"

Severus looked down at him severely, "One room. Two beds."

Harry sighed, "You can't do that! We have to invite her in, and how would that look?"

Severus set his hands out upon the tall counter and closed his eyes.

The desk clerk came back just as Willow came to stand awkwardly next to them.

"Yes sir, we have a lovely room that overlooks-"

Severus cut him off. "Do you have a suite?"

The clerk smiled brighter. "Yes in fact. Our executive was vacated just last night."

"We'll take it.

* * *

"Could you afford that?" Harry asked as they walked towards the grand looking door at the end of the hall.

"No." he said when they reached the wide double door. "Not really."

"Then why didn't you get the other room?"

Severus shrugged. "Momentary lapse of judgment, I wanted to impress her." As soon as the words left his mouth he regretted them. "However," He whispered in his most threatening voice, "I really don't see how my finances are any of your business Potter, although you seem to think all my personal matters are entitled to you." He snapped his gaze back to the door knob and turned the key.

As soon as he stepped in, Harry gave a low whistle. "Whoa. Looks like we got the real show here." He fingered the petal of a white flower that hung out of a huge bouquet in the entryway. The main room was a spacious but cozy living area, complete with couch set, mini grand piano, impeccably set breakfast table and a tall ceilinged window with a view that could take your breath away. Harry walked to the table and pulled a bottle of champagne out of a silver ice bucket. "Romantic, huh?"

Severus grunted and threw off his jacket, letting it fall on the back of the white couch. "It's overdone and frivolous." Severus peered into the bedroom. "As is the bed, it looks like something Albus would sleep in."

Harry smiled and hurried over to the doorway. The bedroom was bright and cheery, half a dozen vases of flowers and a lightly canopied bed which was much larger than any he'd ever seen before. He was accustomed to sleeping in very small beds, even with lovers. And as much as the lush sight before him appealed to his aching back, a small tight bed would have been much more convenient to his cause.

"I want a nap." Harry declared. "Want to join?"

"We're to meet her for dinner in three hours."

"Yea and I promise we'll be plenty ready, I only take short naps. And it'll do you good too."

"I'll be fine."

Harry sighed. "Suit yourself. I'm taking advantage of that." He motioned toward the bed.

As soon as Severus had disappeared and could be heard clinking through the collection of fine liquors in the other room Harry slipped off his shirt and trousers until he was in nothing but his soft shorts. Then with a moan crawled under the heavy cool sheets.

With one final thought, he reached over and flicked on the alarm clock, squinting while he adjusted the time, he would hate to oversleep.

* * *

Harry awoke to the droning beep of an alarm clock.

"What is that infernal racket?"

He reached over and slapped the machine several times. When he turned over he was pleasantly surprised to find Severus stretched out over the covers, his clothing unbuttoned in places and in dreadful disarray. He looked delicious.

"That was an alarm clock."

He grunted and rolled over. "It's a fucking menace, what the hell would muggles want with such a thing?"

"It tells them when they need to get up."

"I am more than capable of waking myself up at the proper time, so please do whatever is necessary to disable it." He swept his legs over the side of the bed and hurried off to the bathroom.

_It figures that he would have a perfect internal alarm_, Harry thought. He flipped off the switch and made sure there wouldn't be any repeat performances before climbing out of bed.

He found that his duffel bag had been moved from the where he'd left it, on the floor next to the door, and placed carefully on a white silk ottoman near the bed. He smiled widely and happily rummaged through his things until he found his darkest, most expensive pair of jeans, a tight fitting white dress shirt and his most flattering brown blazer. There's no way he was going to look anything but divine, he thought as he began to strip off his sweaty clothes, even if this was a casual dinner. He wanted Severus as hot and bothered as possible when they returned tonight, then perhaps the high windows and champagne might seem a little bit more romantic than previously thought, especially with the moonlight casting through against the shiny grand piano.

"Potter." Harry turned to find Severus fully dressed and lustfully gazing at his unzipped jeans, revealing the low waist band of his black shorts. "Dress. Faster."

* * *

"I don't mind the city, it's where I grew up, but, sometimes I wish I could live somewhere just a bit quieter, you know?"

Her father's expressions were harder to read than an advanced physics textbook. She cleared her throat.

"So do you two like your hotel? I've never stayed there but I always thought it looked pretty."

Harry smiled brightly and looked up at Severus. "It's more than adequate Ms. Morgan."

"No, it's beautiful, there's a piano inside." Harry said. Severus rolled his eyes.

"A piano! I hope it wasn't too expensive!"

Severus pinched Harry's palm which he was being forced, rather uncomfortably, into holding, "Not at all, it's a very reasonable rate and a lovely facility."

Harry ripped his hand away and continued. "We have a view of the park, you really must come and see it tomorrow, we'd love it." He looked up at Severus who was staring stiffly at a crowded table laughing loudly over their plates of Tikka Masala and Samosas. "Wouldn't we love it? We could have lunch brought up!"

Severus nodded absent mindedly, "That should be fine."

Willow blushed. "Alright, but I don't want to impose."

"How would you be imposing? We're here to meet you aren't we? We should spend as much time together as possible." He looked up at Severus, his eyes bright. "Right?"

Severus crossed his leg away from the other man, suddenly annoyed at the mere warmth emitted from his thigh. "Of course Ms. Morgan, I want to make the most out of this trip, but I fear I know little about the city, I haven't been here in a very long time. You'll have to suggest activities." He took a sip of his chai. "Lunch however sounds like a fine idea, Harry's been dying to show off the room and it'll give you the morning to yourself." He set his cup down, "Unless of course you're busy in the afternoon as well?"

She laughed, "No not at all. I cleared up my schedule, so like I said, lunch sounds great."

"Fine then, how about noon?"

"Perfect."

A long silence followed which was filled with the chaotic sounds of an overly popular restaurant. Harry couldn't understand what was irritating Severus, not that his mood hadn't been on pins and needles for days, but, something else was bothering him.

Maybe he thought that his effort at being friendly to the girl was undermining his purpose… but no, that didn't make sense, Severus would be glad that he was upbeat and talkative, when it just wasn't his nature. Then what was it?

And then suddenly it dawned on him.

And although he didn't know it yet, Severus must be feeling the pressure of what he hoped to accomplish in contrast to what little time he had, as well as the realization that a great deal of effort had to be exerted to develop a relationship. If anyone knew that, it was Harry.

He glanced over at Willow. Yes, she was likely feeling the exact same thing…

And then, he had a brilliant idea. It was dangerous, and could very likely land him in a lot of trouble with Severus, but hopefully, it would be worth it.

"Wow." He groaned. The noise cut into the silence and the other two table guest's gazes shot up at him questionably, one in worry, and the other suspicion. "That food was really spicy wasn't it?"

Severus's eyes thinned. "Not particularly."

"Really? Because I'm sure feeling it." He forced a flinch and moaned again.

Willow covered her mouth in concern. "Oh my God! Well," she looked from one man to the other, "Would you two like to go back to your hotel? I can take care of things here."

"No," Severus snapped gently. "He's fine. And besides, I won't permit you to pay for anything." He glared at Harry. "You're fine."

He groaned again.

"He doesn't look fine! Really you must go where you're comfortable."

"No really," Severus continued.

Harry stopped him with a firm grip on the wrist. "You know what? I think I am going to go back. You two can wait for dessert and enjoy the evening." He stood up.

"Harry!"

"I'm sorry to put a damper on things Willow." He smiled painfully then looked down at the man beside him. "And I'll see you later." He stroked his hand purposefully over Severus's shoulder and kissed him on the cheek. "Don't worry."

"I assure you I won't," he growled under his breath.

* * *

It was nearly two hours since Harry had left the restaurant and the absence of Severus in the cold hotel room was a bitter sweet accomplishment. It crossed his mind several times as he sat in the living room and sipped on his second glass of brandy that he could still go through with his plan to woo Severus with the view, the dim lighting, and the expensive alcohol. But realistically, he knew that he had willingly thrown away any chance of a romantic evening. Even if his dangerous plan worked, Severus would still be furious with him. So why bother?

Harry took his last sip and switched off most of the lights. He sluggishly traipsed through the bedroom and into the bathroom, but not before he grabbed a pair of his most comfortable and therefore ugliest pajama bottoms. He wasn't getting anything but a cold shoulder tonight anyway, so why bother.

He locked the door, turned on the shower, and after leaving his clothes in a pile on the tile he climbed under the jets of hot water. He sighed as the steam filled his lungs and the heat melted his muscles.

If he was honest with himself he'd have to admit that Severus was the most difficult man he'd ever met. And if he was very honest, he'd have to admit that he wasn't even the most attractive man he'd been with over the years, and yet- there was something there, something so different that he was propelled to go the extra mile.

He'd been thinking about it a lot and was starting to come to the conclusion, grudgingly and despite his determination to not be sappy, that Severus must be what he needed in a man, but had never found. He was responsible, he was consistent. He was devoted and mature, and most importantly he was passionate. Not to say that Harry wasn't many of these things, it's just that most of the men Harry dated, or rather, bedded, were none of these things. They may seem passionate, but it was just an act. Harry wanted someone who had the real capacity to care about something deeply, and ultimately, someone who would need and love him passionately. Even someone who would jealous covet him. And deep down, he knew that Severus had this potential. The question was however, whether or not he would ever _want_ to care for him.

Harry sighed as the water trickled down and over skin. He went so often without bathing sometimes, that he relished the feeling of a long hot shower.

As he rummaged through memories of the past few days events and watched helplessly as images of Severus drifted to the surface, he began to feel warm in his gut. Severus may not be one of those hunky blondes that Harry would flirt with in Germany, or the chiseled Grecians, but he is beautiful. His legs are long, his torso is long… fuck, everything is long. He's elegant and he moves with such grace and form. Thinking back to that night they'd shared, he remembered how agile and gentle he was at times, and how rough and possessive he was at others. It was probably his best single sexual experience.

Slowly Harry began to feel himself stiffen. He groaned and immediately reached down to take care of his hardening erection. Severus wasn't here, there was nothing to hide.

He'd convinced himself for months that his growing desire to seek Severus out was nothing but the physical desire for a repeat performance. But over time he'd realized that something, something that he couldn't entirely define, had more to do with it that any physical urge. Not that a repeat performance or two wouldn't be greatly appreciated.

He felt himself nearing the precipice and with one hand against the wall and his forehead pressed into the tile so that the water trickled down his cheeks and over his eyes; he quickened his pace all the while running all of his favorite images of Severus through his mind. The way he looks when concentrating really hard on what he's reading, or trying even harder to ignore him. His rare smiles and even rarer laughs. The way he looked when he came, or when he was completely lost in sensation.

With one final pull he gasped and came, the images morphing into fantasies of moments not yet experienced.

He caught his breath and cleaned himself off before turning off the water and pulling the towel from the door.

Harry wiped his palm across the mirror and gazed at his flushed face in the dripping circle of reflection. Sometimes Harry wondered if men even found him all that attractive. They seemed to, he was never without a lover if he desired one, but, was it arrogant of him to think that Severus would even fancy him at all? Just because they had one drunken fuck didn't mean that Severus might still want him.

He sighed, wrapped the towel around his waist and opened the door.

"Feeling Better?"

Harry nearly bumped into the dark figure blocking the doorway. "Fuck."

* * *

_I know that took forever, yet again, and I apologize. School can dish out some nasty surprises._

_And don't forget to review. A happy writer is a quick writer ;)_


	7. Chapter 7

_refer__ to chapter one for disclaimer and warnings._

**_Oh! And by the way... this story does have an M rating for a reason, and this chapter is one of those reasons. So, be forewarned, I won't warn you ever again.  
_**

**_Enjoy! I think you'll like this one, I certainly enjoyed writing it._**

* * *

Fuck." Harry swallowed the jolt that had caught in his throat. "You scared the shit out of me."

"Good." Severus snapped. Harry strutted to his bag, Snape admiring the way his sleek muscles rippled as he walked. "You seem quite recovered."

"Yes I am thank you, the rest did me well."

"I can see that, I also noticed that you became quite attached to that bottle of brandy while I was gone. Not the greatest remedy for stomach flu."

Harry turned and flashed him a winning smile. "It seems to have settled just fine, and besides, now I'm quite relaxed." He shook out his pajama bottoms. "How was the rest of your evening?"

Severus smirked. "None of your business Potter, as you unfortunately, were not there." He stepped to the end of the bed where he could stand guiltily close the half naked young man.

"Fine. Guess I've lost my privileges."

"Care to explain what the hell you thought you were doing back there?"

Harry smiled sweetly. "Wouldn't you agree that having me around all the time is a little, counterproductive?"

Severus snorted a laugh and nodded to the pajama bottoms Harry was still awkwardly holding in one hand. "Don't let me disturb you. You obviously have your own agenda." He turned and stormed into the living room flourishing one hand until the lights lit just enough to see his way through the room.

"Severus please! You don't have to be so mad at me. Was it really all that bad? I was trying to help."

Severus poured himself a tumbler full of the most accessible bottle of liquor and downed it in one quick burning gulp. At this rate they were going to be fresh out of alcohol by the end of the week. "Don't worry yourself and go to bed."

Harry inched closer. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing that concerns you."

Harry uncomfortably twisted his hand around the knot in his towel. "What if it does concern me? Huh? What if I want to know what's troubling you? Is it so terrible that I might…?"

"What?"

Harry looked like a scared child. "Well… is it so terrible that I might care about you?"

"For Merlin's sake Potter! We're not a pair of fucking lovers." Severus cringed as the words left his mouth.

Harry paled, his eyes were suddenly burning and his gut felt punched in. "Yea, I've noticed. Silly me." His jaw began to tremble and he looked away from Severus's unreadable expression before he noticed, though Harry knew his emotions were obvious. He looked around the beautiful empty room. This wasn't home… and he suddenly didn't want to be anywhere but home. "I'm going to bed. In the morning I'll fly back to England… You're right, we're not lovers. I should never have come." He looked up and forced a sad smile which he was sure looked pathetic paired with his dewy bloodshot eyes. "You'll do brilliant without me, I don't need to be here getting in your way. I'm just… in your way." He nodded and inched back towards the bedroom doorway. Why couldn't he be nasty like Snape had been? He wanted to so badly, but his tongue was yet to agree with him.

Harry felt utterly defeated. This had felt like such a great opportunity, and he was sure that with enough will he could break through the ice and burrow his way into Severus's life. How pathetically presumptuous and arrogant it was for him to think that Severus would want him, or find him attractive. And besides, Severus had always detested him, and they had such a hurtful past.

Who was it that said time heals all wounds? Severus hadn't meant anything to him a year ago, surely in due time he could erase this odd little emotion that made him weak in the knees when he looked at the other man. But somehow, Harry doubted it.

He headed quickly for the bedroom and slipped behind a wall where he quickly changed into his pajama bottoms. He then grabbed a pillow and blanket and returned to the living room where Severus was still standing looking blankly into his cup. "I'll sleep in here tonight."

"Harry..." Severus stared coolly. Harry instantly felt that he didn't want to know what was at the end of the comment.

"Don't call me that."

Severus looked at him shocked. He knew he deserved to be spoken to with such piercing bite, but somehow he'd thought Harry might brush off the hurtful comment. He stared at the side of Harry's face and thought he saw a tremble at his lips. "Harry please, look at me." Severus reached out and placed his hand firmly around Harry's naked arm.

"Don't touch me." He commanded, pulling his arm away with a painful flick.

Snape withdrew, his hand felt cold. "Forgive me. I…" He moved away, his steps muted. "'l'll sleep on the couch Potter. Don't cross me on this."

Harry's eyes were on fire and in danger of spilling over. He was tired, and broken. He nodded once. "Fine." Then disappeared into the bedroom where he threw down the sheets and crawled quickly under the warm weight where he felt shrouded. Being nasty hadn't made him feel any better at all, in fact he felt much worse, but he wouldn't cry. Snape would hear him. He wouldn't cry. He sniffed back the tears and bravely flopped over to bury his face in what he imagined to be Severus's pillow. As soon as the light in the living room dimmed off, Harry quickly drifted away.

* * *

Severus had been staring blankly at the ceiling above the couch where a shadow like a clutching branch loomed, consistently distracting him throughout the quiet night. He was trying desperately to discern whether or not Potter was stirring in the next room, or sleeping soundly, or if he too were laying awake thinking of what the hell to do next.

When not a single sound emerged for what seemed like an aching eternity, he slowly eased off into an unwanted sleep as the shadow waved in the most hypnotic pattern before him.

* * *

Severus awoke abruptly what felt like only moments later to the sound of a heavy thump. He blinked open his eyes and looked to the window. It was still night, or at least very early morning. He sat up slightly with one elbow to look into the open bedroom. Harry was no longer in bed. He heard a zipper close, and his heart stopped. He was leaving, again.

He thought it wouldn't matter so enormously, he didn't think it would feel like he was losing, well, losing a lover. They weren't lovers. It was those words that had pushed Harry away in the first place, words that Severus deeply regretted saying, but had believed just the same, despite all the harshness and cruelty.

And yet… why did he feel so sick? Like his gut would be wrenched out if Potter left through those doors tonight. When would he ever see him again? Where would he look for such a wanderer? Not even the most cunning prophet gossip colonists could find him. And at this very moment he had a beautiful and alluring opportunity sitting right under his nose and he was too much of a coward, too selfish and single minded to do anything about it.

Harry walked across the large open doorway and into the bathroom where he softly shut the door. He was fully dressed, scarf already in place, head bowed and hands stiffly in his pockets. It was just like the last time he'd tried to leave. However, this time Severus doubted that there was much chance of him not leaving forever. Last time he had made a point to awaken him, last time he had wanted to be stopped. This time Harry wanted to simply disappear. He had even made the bed.

Severus stood and walked to look nervously at the closed bathroom door where the bright bar of light under the door softly showed the shadow of Harry moving back and forth within. He felt in his gut that he would never forgive himself if he didn't do something about his leaving. And he knew that only he had the power to do something… if anything could be done at all.

The light switched off from within and Harry stepped out, the room now illuminated only by the blue light of the moon through the window.

He looked up and froze. "I thought you were asleep."

"No. I've been awake."

"Why?" he asked coldly.

"I've been, thinking."

Harry brushed by him and began ordering his things on the ottoman in the corner. "Pity. I slept like a baby."

Severus swallowed. "Good. You seemed tired."

Harry glanced over his shoulder, but never looked at him. "What was so engaging that it kept you up all night? Hmm? You obviously plan on telling me."

"I was thinking of you."

Harry paused briefly, his shoulders stiffening, and then began shuffling his things once again. "Contemplating all the things we're not?"

"Yes actually."

"It's a long fucking list isn't it?"

"Yes."

Harry threw his bag over his shoulder and turned around. "Well here we are again. I'm leaving in the dead of night. Becoming a theme with us isn't it?"

Severus looked down at the carpet. He feared his voice would betray him. Apologies felt heavy and foreign to him. He felt like someone else. "I shouldn't have said what I said to you last night."

"The truth hurts, but it apparently needed to be said. I over stepped my boundaries, we're not lovers, you were right. That's why I'm leaving."

"I wish you wouldn't."

Harry shook his head. "I can't handle this anymore Snape. This needs to end tonight. For both our sakes." He shifted his weight and then quickly walked to him, but stopped short of coming too close. "Well, goodbye Snape. I'm sure I'll see you again one day. Tell your daughter I loved meeting her." He smiled and nodded once, then hurried out of the room.

Severus held his breath. He had to do something! He had to think of something, say something, but he was coming up cold. "I want to give it a try." He blurted out; his feet had turned themselves toward the front corridor where Harry had disappeared. He waited for the sound of the door slamming, but it never came. "My life has had very little pleasure Potter, but despite all your outstanding annoyances… you bring me pleasure." It was true; it was all he had, the truth. He looked toward the entry hall where he desperately hoped Harry was still standing, and listening. He prayed that he wasn't talking to no one, but at least the possibility made it easier to say. "We might not be lovers, but, it couldn't hurt to try." Severus held his breath. "Please Harry. I'm sorry."

Through the longest moment of stillness he could ever remember Harry emerged from around the corner, his arms tight around his midsection. Severus let out a breath and relaxed slightly against the wall. "Do you mean it?" Harry asked.

Severus shrugged. "Have you ever heard me give such a speech before? Of course I mean it."

Harry stood staring at him. It felt like a more searching gaze than even Voldemort's must untrusting invasions into his mind. He felt as if he was being laid completely bare, even though he knew that no thought searching was afoot. Harry had been a hopeless occlumency student.

"I realized tonight that it's been a long time since I've wanted something as much as I want you. I am a selfish bastard, but it's the truth."

Harry seemed to come out of a trance, and slowly he began to smile brightly, his eyes sparkling again, the dullness simply forgotten. Harry hurried over to him, throwing his arms around his neck and planting his lips firmly upon his own. He kissed him urgently, sucking in his bottom lip and moaning when Severus just barely parted and allowed him to slip in.

"Alright?" Harry asked breathlessly.

Severus pulled away slightly, their noses still pressed together. One of Harry's hands was now tangled into the hair at his neck. "I didn't think you'd be so quick to forgive."

Harry grinned. "I've been waiting days for you to give me a chance." He leaned in with a heated open mouthed kiss. "And I'm sick and tired of words."

As Harry's caresses grew in intensity, and their kisses became more and more possessive, he noticed the absence of Snape's caress. He glanced down and spotted his hands, pressed white knuckled into the wall behind them. He reached down and softly caressed one until is threaded around his fingers forcefully. He brought their combined hands up to his hip.

Severus paused and pressed their foreheads together, his eyes focused darkly. "Does my touch no longer disgust you then?"

Harry pulled away sharply. "Oh…god. I didn't mean that. You know I didn't mean that right?" He looked into the older man's eyes then whispered up into his ear. "I do want you to touch me. Anywhere and everywhere." He gently bit the skin under his ear, pulling out a low strangled groan.

Severus untangled his hand and hungrily reached under the back of Harry's shirt, running his palms over his firm back and sleek sides. He dipped one hand into the back of his loose jeans and forcefully pressed their hard erections together.

Harry sighed into Severus mouth. His emotions were running high, too high. First, feeling as though Severus hated him, thought of him as a pest, to being pressed up against his devouring lips. The sheer relief made him want to cry, so he released his tight grip, took a deep breath and pressed his face into Severus's warm collar to settle the flutters in his throat.

"I'm sorry." Harry whispered.

Severus tensed. "Whatever for?"

Harry kissed the side of his neck gently. "I don't know. Everything."

"You needn't apologize Harry. Do you think I'm upset at you?"

"Something like that."

Severus kissed the top of Harry's head, then grasped the shirt bunched up over his hands and pulled it off over the younger man's sleek arms. "You have only done the right things. It's me who must apologize."

Harry laughed. "Please don't apologize anymore. I wanted a turn." He kissed Severus's smirk off and began nibbling at his gravely jaw. "Was I annoying at least?"

"Of course. But it did get us here."

Harry smiled up at him shyly. The moonlight casting soft shadows across his chest and making his green eyes sparkle.

Severus rubbed his hands gently and searchingly over Harry's smooth chest and sides, his expression had melted into something much more serious. "What-" His voice sounded distant, and cautious. "What do you want from me tonight?"

Harry pressed in closer. "What do you think?"

Severus sighed. "Harry, we, we were both so drunk last time."

"So?" Harry looked up at him confused.

"I- Just don't expect too much from me. I don't want to disappoint you."

Harry leaned in and placed another soft and achingly slow kiss on the lips of the man he had already begun to think of as his lover, his quite skilled lover. "You couldn't possibly. Besides, you were excellent last time. Remember, I wasn't that drunk."

Severus sighed and pulled Harry in closer. "Just… don't expect much."

Harry led them to the shadowed bed, his eyes never leaving the face of the man who possessed every one of his thoughts as of late, his expression concealing nothing, such a rare occurrence that Harry couldn't look away, no matter how hard he tried. Slowly he began to strip away his remaining clothes, but Severus would have none of it, his eyes fierce and his hands shaky as he batted away Harry's hands and began to pull at both of their clothing, until finally, with a frenzied thump, they were nothing but skin against skin lying still atop the cool coverlet, too overcome with sensation to move.

Severus looked down at Harry's half lidded eyes. "I don't remember feeling like this," Harry whispered. "I thought I remembered… but-" he sighed and thrust up towards Severus who was hovering above him.

Severus smiled and lowered his body down until every possible inch of his skin was touching the heated flesh below him. It was the only response he had to the all too true comment. This was much more 

than he'd remembered and he suddenly wondered what had possessed him to keep his hands off this supple young man; it was insanity.

Harry moaned, a deep guttural moan that had him throwing his head back and stilling his breath. It was too much, and yet not enough and they were only touching. What was different? What made Severus, a man who he hated and despised, someone he would never pick out of a crowd for himself; what was it that made him the one that felt so undeniably right? Severus latched onto Harry's salty neck and slowly began his decent until the soft lips were all around his own.

Harry gently spread his legs and brought them slowly up until they were wrapped tightly around Severus's thin hard waist. Severus stilled. His breath was frenzied against Harry's teeth, his arms shaking.

"Fuck me," Harry groaned into his mouth, his voice so coarse and low that Severus wasn't even sure if he'd said anything at all, but that didn't stop him from gratefully fulfilling the wanton plea.

* * *

"I thought I told you to turn that thing off." Severus murmured into Harry's hair.

"uhuh?" Harry twitched then settled back into the warm nook between Severus's chest and arm. "No alarm." He grumbled.

The noise came again, a knocking that Severus was having a hard time rationalizing in his post-coital drowsy state. They hadn't even fallen asleep until the early morning light was casting a bluish golden glow over their slowly moving, sweat soaked bodies. That would explain why the light was so bright, it must be late into the morning.

The knock came again.

"Did you order something?" Harry asked.

"What?"

"The door!"

Severus sat up slightly and looked toward the living room. The door? Who would be knocking? Maid service maybe, or…

"Fuck!" Harry jumped off the bed and spun around, his naked backside making Severus too distracted to worry about whatever urgency Harry was in. It was probably just the maid. "Harry it's just the maid, go tell her to blow off."

"It's not the bloody maid, its Willow, it's your daughter, remember? Lunch! It's noon already."

Severus bolted up and looked to the strangely glowing digital clock. "Fuck!"

"Exactly!"

Severus picked up his pants from the floor and threw his legs through. "Well go let her in! She's going to leave!"

Harry nodded and hurried to the door, then turned around and gestured to the mess of clothes and overly rumpled bed. "I'll distract her, you clean this up." He grabbed something off the floor and threw it at the bed. "Hide that!"

Severus reached over and plucked a half empty bottle of lubricant from the sheets and smiled as he hid it behind the bible in the side drawer.

He was in the process of shoving an armful of Harry's traveling clothes in the toppled suitcase when he heard the door open, and Harry's slightly elevated and unnecessarily chipper voice in the entry way. "Hey!"

"I was just about to leave, I figured you'd forgotten, or were still sleeping or something. Sorry, I should have called."

The door shut.

"You were sleeping weren't you? Wow, I'm sorry."

"No we weren't, well we were, but, no. It's fine. We should have set the alarm but Severus hates them."

Willow laughed. The voices were still awkwardly trapped in the direction of the entry way when Severus threw one of Harry's too tight button ups over his head and quickly adjusted the collar. He might not have time to properly make the bed, but he could at least heave the heavy blankets off the floor. "So…" she began again, "… the room looks really nice from what I can see, it must be big, is there more…"

Footsteps started into the living room. "Severus! Willow is here!" Harry yelled much too loud. The boy had no idea how to be discreet. Severus stopped his efforts, it would have to do. He'd prefer their early activities not be so obvious but Harry had already crushed any hope of that, a rumpled bed wouldn't do any more harm than had already been done.

He strolled casually to the entry way and smiled thinly. "Good morning Willow. I'm sorry about the state of us, and the room. We overslept. It was terribly rude of us."

Willow looked past him at the bedroom and smiled. "It's okay. It looked like you guys needed some, uh, sleep anyway." And she smirked his trademark smirk and Harry blushed crimson red behind her.

* * *

_I have good news... summer is upon us, which means no more term papers to write... only fanfiction :)_

_So, in the spirit of summer, leave a review!!_


	8. Chapter 8

_refer__ to chapter one for disclaimer and warnings._

_**NOTE: **A reviewer asked a question that I want to answer, just in case I don't get a chance in the story. Jack-Quaker wanted to know if Harry and Willow are close in age. The answer, is yes. I know that is "a little weird", I agree, but of course we all know that Harry and Severus's age difference is a little weird anyway. Harry is probably about five years older than Willow... So there it is, and thanks for the question and the review Jack-Quaker!_

_enjoy!_

* * *

_The night before…_

* * *

"I hope he'll be alright!" Willow watched Harry escape quickly but surprisingly smoothly through the thin front door of the restaurant.

"He's not sick."

"Severus didn't you see! He looked terrible; you really should go with him! I swear it, I won't mind. Really!"

Severus dropped his fork. "Don't worry yourself. He's not sick. He's-" he cleared his throat. "-Trying to give us time alone." Severus felt ridiculous before the words even left his mouth. "He's not very tactful sometimes. Well, most of the time."

"Why didn't he just say so?" She asked quietly.

"Tactless."

Willow took a sip of her water and stared out through the windows at the bright lights shining in from the swerving cars. Suddenly she wasn't so comfortable being alone with her father. She knew that was the whole idea, but having Harry here had made it so much easier. It had taken the awkward out of one of the most awkward time of her life.

"I'll understand if you'd like to go home, after you finish your meal that is." Severus interrupted the silence.

"Oh." She exclaimed. "Is that what you want?"

Severus furrowed his brow. "No of course not… I mean, I wasn't suggesting that I wanted to leave. I was merely-"

"-Giving me an out." She smiled.

"Something like that."

"Oh. Well. No, I think it would be great, to you know, talk… that's the whole idea isn't it?"

Severus nodded. "Very well."

Long minutes passed in awkward silence while the two picked at the rest of their meals. Chicken pushed around one plate, lamb curry slowly mixed into rice. Three packets of sugar stirred into half a cup of chai. They were too deep in their own thoughts to notice the time ticking away.

Severus set his spoon down with a loud clang; drops of too sweet tea dribbled onto the table cloth. Willow looked up sharply and smiled.

"So… What do you want to do after this?" She asked.

Severus looked up at her, having almost forgotten that she was still there, his thoughts occupied with memories of the last time he was in San Francisco. A memory he was all too happy to avoid.

"Whatever you would like… of course."

"Oh. Okay. Uhm…" she looked down at her watch. It was well past nine o'clock. It was much too late for parks, and somehow she doubted that he would be comfortable in one of the neighborhood coffee shops which were always too crowded with loud students. "We could go to my place. I guess." The idea was farfetched, she didn't think he'd be comfortable, and yet, she was dying to get away from the chaos.

Severus quickly bit back his obvious discomfort at the idea. There was something inherently wrong in his mind about being at a young girl's apartment, alone. "That would be fine, if, that's what you would like to do." She's your daughter. He reminded himself. He couldn't decide if it bothered him more that she was already comfortable with the idea of father and daughter, or that he was not? He was still reminding himself that he young woman before him was part of him, a descendent. And yet, she was nothing like how he imagined a daughter of his would be. The Snape's were an old family, with steady traditions. This independent American didn't fit the mold at all. But still, he was starting to discover that none of it made her any less of a Snape.

"Okay really? Great!" She beamed, and Severus tried to smile.

A half an hour later they were standing in Willows tight dim apartment corridor that smelt oddly of Ukrainian food and cigarette smoke.

"My lock sticks sometimes." She turned the key hard to the right and bumped the door with her hip for the eighth time. "Shoot. It usually lets up, but sometimes I have to call someone.

Severus sighed. "Mind if I try?"

Willow looked back approvingly. "Do you think you can?"

Severus smirked. Of course he could.

She backed up to stand against the opposite wall and gave Severus the floor. Alohomora was a simple enough spell to do wordlessly. He wrapped his hand firmly around the door knob and faked a quick struggle as he wordlessly preformed the spell. The knob gave and he opened the door with ease.

"Wow! It always takes three Italian guys, and a box full of tools to get that thing open when it sticks." She grinned. "You just saved us a really un-fun experience, let me tell you. These are not attractive men..."

Severus's eyebrows rose.

Willow stuttered. "Not that I'm… you know… implying anything." She dropped her keys on the coffee table. "I just…"

"Of course not." And he smiled just for the purpose of putting her at ease.

He had such a great smile, she thought to herself after she had excused herself to use the bathroom. If he allowed himself to smile at all that is. She looked at her half smudged evening make-up in the mirror. Her hair had sprung free in several places and was hanging limply across her cheeks. She sighed and began fixing the disarray.

Never had she been happier to meet a man with such lank hair. Usually children hated their parents for giving them their unfortunate qualities. But for Willow, all she cared about was that she now knew that someone else on this planet understood exactly how she felt.

She smoothed the fly-a ways one last time and shrugged. It was a worthless cause anyway. She found her father a moment later staring awkwardly at a picture of her mother on the rickety make shift book shelf.

"We don't have to talk about her." She said, hoping that this was the only reason for his tension. It really didn't matter what her mother had meant to him, or vice versa. Her Mother had always told the truth about her father. Or what little she knew. So she wasn't really looking for any kind of explanation.

It was the information about her father as a person that she wanted, that mattered.

Severus looked back at her. "No. I understand if you want to know."

"My mother told me as much as there was to tell when it comes to my conception, I think. And she told me just about everything she knew about you. But it wasn't much." She smiled. "That's why I wanted to meet you."

"Oh… I didn't realize." He looked back to the picture. "I thought she might have been ashamed."

Willow sat down slowly on her low couch. "Why?"

Severus found a high backed kitchen chair and pulled it out so that he was facing her. "Well. I barely knew her. And, she knew _certain_ things about me. But mostly-"

"Mostly it's because she never told you."

He didn't want to admit to it. "Exactly."

"She told me that she knew enough about you to know that a child in America was the last thing you needed in your life, which is exactly why I almost didn't contact you." As hard as it was to be forward, it was still an issue that needed to be addressed, and soon.

Severus nodded. "You weren't wrong in contacting me. I am infinitely glad that you did."

Willow felt a weight, a huge heavy sickening weight lift off her insides. She hadn't known how much this had been bothering her until just now. And the validation made her smile the most genuine smile she had produced in weeks.

"It feels great to hear you say that." She grinned into the stillness, neither of them speaking for a long moment. She had needed to have this discussion, but she had been too naive to imagine it would be so serious, so difficult. Obviously he had not.

"Can I ask you why she would have thought that you couldn't handle knowing about me earlier? You say you are happy now?"

Severus sighed. "I'm afraid that she was partially right. You were born and raised during the most difficult phase of my life. That isn't to say that I would not have been just as happy to know of you sooner." He cleared his throat and looked to his lap. "I should have been more responsible and contacted your mother again. I'm truly sorry that I was not there for you. You deserved a father."

"Oh don't let that worry you. Really. I never blamed you. It's not your fault my mother didn't want you to know. Besides, everything happens for a reason, right?"

Severus smirked. "So I've heard." He rolled a crease in his pant leg lightly between his fingers. He didn't want to be reminded of what he was already beginning to realize, that Harry didn't show up on his door step by accident. Harry was here for a reason, and the main reason was something he was trying desperately to ignore. He didn't want to think of Harry right now, or what he should allow himself to do. He wanted to be mad, raging mad at the stunt he pulled earlier. It was so much easier.

"Well. I hope you were happy." He finished.

"I was."

A loud knocking interrupted the intimate moment. "Willow! Are you there? I heard you struggling with the door and I was going to fix it. That's all…" The voice was stern and almost business like in its finality. Severus immediately bolted up. "… I mean. That's the only reason I'm here. So…"

Willow looked to the door shocked. She hadn't seen or heard from Stewart since, well since he had been here last! The night he had told her that he… oh my God! Willow began to feel her palm sweat and her heart race. She couldn't handle this now. Not now. This was way too much for one day. And as flustered as she was feeling right now, what if she… Oh no! What would he think?

"I have to go. I can't be here. Deal with him." She spoke quietly and quickly to her stunned father, and then scurried towards her bedroom. "Deal with him nicely!" She called before slipping into her room and shutting her door. It was cowardly to run away, but right now she couldn't care less.

Severus opened the door to reveal a flushed young man at the other side.

"Yea Willow… I'll just fix the door and go. I happen to know that the De Luca's are out of town for…" He looked up from his frenzied speech to find a much different figure than he had expected in the doorway. "Oh."

Severus nodded. "Indeed."

"Are you? Are you Willows father?"

"Very intuitive."

"Oh, thank God." Stewart released a breath. "I mean, not that it's any of my business or anything…"

"And who are you?"

"I'm Stewart. I live on the floor below. Willow and I are friends… or something."

Severus fiercely hid a smirk. "Are you a friend? Or are you a something?"

"Uh. Just a friend… apparently."

Severus nodded. "I see."

"Yea. So, is Willow there?"

"She doesn't feel well at the moment. But I will tell her how kind you were to stop by."

He frowned. "Oh no! Don't tell her anything about me. But, I do hope she feels better."

"She'll be fine."

"Okay yea. Oh! I was going to fix the door! Shoot."

Severus twirrled the loosened door knob. "No need."

"Oh."

The two stared at each other until a door creaked open down the hall. "Okay. Better get home."

"Fine then. Nice meeting you, Mister?"

"Oh yea. It's Stanwyck."

"Mr. Stanwyck."

Stewart smiled a crooked smile and scurried off awkwardly to the creaky spiral stairs.

Severus closed the door quietly and turned to see if Willow had decided to reemerge from the bedroom. She had not.

"He has gone now." He waited for her to open the door. "Willow?"

"Yea. Uh. Coming."

Inside her bedroom Willow closed her eyes, held her breath and tried for the fifth time to calm down. One. Two. Three. She opened her eyes. "Oh no." She whispered. It was worse than it had sounded, but at least she had calmed down before too much damage could be done.

She made an inventory of what would need to be replaced. One mirror. One vase. Three kitchen glasses. One wine glass and two light bulbs. She sighed. It wasn't the first time she'd broken all the glass in a room; however it had been quite awhile. At least now she had found that it could be stopped if she tried hard enough.

She walked past her mother's crystal jewelry box. At least that didn't break. Maybe subconsciously she knew how much it would hurt to see that happen. Too much.

She opened the door and slipped out.

"Are you alright?"

"Yea." She was glad she had thick walls; she didn't want to explain the sound of breaking glass. "I just couldn't hear you call."

Severus nodded. "Your friend was quite flustered. I rarely see someone who is so unsteady in speech."

"Ah yes. He is not always that way, just when he's in a situation he would rather not be in."

"Then he is a good friend?"

"Kinda. But, I don't think anymore." She shrugged up at him.

"A fight?"

"No, not a fight."

Severus looked at her downcast face. She looked like Harry after he had been rejected. "It's none of my business."

"Oh no. No, I'll tell you. "She plunked down on the couch. "We were just friends, best friends kinda, until he informed me a few nights ago of some, different feelings he has for me… I- I don't think I reacted well. That's all."

"Ah. I see."

"You don't share his feelings?"

"I don't know."

Severus hummed in response. He knew he should say something, but had no idea what kind of advice to give. He had never been the kind of person people sought for advice; therefore he never had to give it. He looked to her simple white wall clock. It was half past eleven; he should leave and let her get 

some sleep. "I'm not an expert on relationships, so I won't pretend to know what you should do. However, I have recently learned that if you have feelings for someone, it's better to give those feelings an opportunity, than it is to hide from them. Maybe we are similar when it comes to the desire to protect our emotions."

She stared at him a little stunned. She hadn't expected him to say anything like that. He had practically revealed his own intimate feelings, and situation with Harry. She had never expected it of him. She tried to smile and nodded.

Severus stood. "I will leave you to your evening. It's getting late."

"Oh, yea, I guess it is. Thanks for coming over to talk. I really appreciate everything."

"Yes, well, perhaps you should call your friend. He seemed worried when I told him that you weren't feeling well."

Willow nodded. "Maybe."

"We will talk again very soon. We still have a lot to discuss."

"Okay and I'll see you at lunch tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it." Willow thought about reaching out for a hug but quickly thought better of it. So instead she just walked awkwardly to the door and let him out, saying her final goodbye, then and locking up for the night.

When everything was quiet again Willow began to think about Stewart, something she desperately wished she didn't have to do. But Severus was right; he was _too_ right in fact. She did like him more than she was letting herself admit too, and furthermore, it was her fear of what he might do to her emotions that was keeping her from what might be something amazing. She knew that Stewart deserved a phone call, or a visit better yet, but the idea was making her feel sick with nervousness, and she certainly didn't want to reencounter what she had dealt with only minutes before.

She would just call him tomorrow, there was no rush. She walked to every light in the room and flipped them off until only the single unbroken light from the bedroom could be seen.

A knock sounded just as Willow was about to head off to the bathroom for a shower. She looked to the door as if it were concealing a monster just escaped from a horror movie and on the prowl. She just wouldn't open it she thought; she didn't have to open her door this late at night. She was at no obligation to talk to the man who was most likely on the other side of that door. But of course, what if it were her father? What if he had returned to get something he had forgotten? She couldn't very well ignore him, could she?

She went to the door, and with a sickening breath that made her stomach feel as though it were doing jumping jacks, she opened it.

"How sick, is sick?" He asked.

She held her breath and scratched the inside of her palm with her nail. "I'm fine, I'm just, nervous, and stressed."

He nodded and placed his hand on the door frame over her head, his muscular arm right in her line of vision. "I just wanted to make sure…"

"I thought you told him not to tell me that you came?"

"Yea, I did. But then I realized that he would anyway, so when I heard him leave, I decided to come check on you."

"You didn't have to do that."

"I know."

She smiled quickly. "I was just going to bed."

He nodded. "Okay."

"Okay." She began to shut the door. It was a terribly awkward conversation that she was too eager to end, but at least he was talking to her again.

"Wait, Willow." He pushed back against of the closing door. "Wait… I-" He sighed and rubbed his hand over the door frame. "-I just want you to forget what I said last time." He stared at her firmly.

"Oh." She knew that he couldn't have really felt that way, and she shouldn't be surprised. But it hurt just the same. "Uhm, okay, I won't hold it against you."

"What do you mean hold it against me?"

"I knew you couldn't possibly mean it, not really… so…"

He laughed. "Willow I meant it, I still mean it. But if you don't feel the same, well then, I'd rather you just forget all about it."

She calmed her rising nerves. It was now or never wasn't it? What could she say? She could lie and say, 'Yea, your right. I don't feel the same. Let's forget all about it.' She could even avoid it completely and say, 'Sound good! See ya later.' Or, she could do the hardest thing of all, and just be honest. But she knew that honesty would be the hardest of all the available responses.

"Stewart. I can't just forget you said it, and I'm not going to lie by saying that I don't feel… something for you." She tried to avoid his gaze in hopes that it would keep her emotions from roaring out of control. "I just don't know what they are yet."

He was silent for a moment. "Really?"

She nodded.

"So… what does this mean?"

She shrugged. "Why don't we just go back to the way things were… just until I decide what I feel." She looked up at his face briefly. He was trying to hide his exuberant joy with business like seriousness.

"I agree. And, I'm glad." He grinned.

She nodded. "Can you come over here tomorrow night? I haven't had anyone to talk to about all this. All the father stuff."

"Absolutely. I'd love to."

"Okay."

He backed away slowly, his hands nervously fidgeting over each other, then turned and disappeared loudly down the stairs.

* * *

Severus walked down the dark and slowly quieting San Francisco streets with his hands tucked tight into his pants. His evening had done nothing to change how furious he was at Harry tonight. The quiet walk was only a chance to further fan his fury. How dare he play this situation as if it were a game?

Well, he would hear about it tonight… loud and clear…

* * *

_Thanks for reading!!_

_Leave a review, and reward me for updating so fast ;)_

_**NOTE:** If your waiting for Severus to explain how Willow was conceived... don't worry!! I want him to tell the story to Harry. It will be in the next chapter or two._

_-semolinapilchard_


	9. Chapter 9

_Refer to chapter one for disclaimer and warnings_

_**NOTE:**__ I have been waiting to incorporate one of the drabbles in my "slowly in-progress" drabble collection - "Behind Closed Doors," into this story. So, other than a change in POV, it's now also the ending to this chapter… just a little trivia._

_Also, I took a couple liberties with spell theory in this chapter. PLEASE, do not inform me that the books do not confirm this. _

_Enjoy!_

_-semolinapilchard_

* * *

Willow's Company was surprisingly pleasant, and considering their panicked attempts at decorum, Severus was putting on a great show of casual indifference. Harry on the other hand was thinking a million thoughts at once. Did he look okay? He hadn't once stepped in front of a mirror. What was Severus thinking? They hadn't had a chance to have those precious whispered words during the post coital morning light to confirm their approval and pleasure of the previous evening. Harry was certainly happy to see Willow, but at the moment, all he really wanted to do was…

"So what are you two doing tonight? Anything fun?" Willow smiled over her half empty tumbler.

Harry glanced toward the bedroom where Severus had just disappeared to use the restroom. Lunch had gone surprisingly well, Severus and Willow were certainly more comfortable around each other, and so despite Severus's desire to make him believe otherwise, Harry knew something good had come from his little scheme.

"Uh. I don't know, we hadn't talked about it." He whispered. "Why? Have something in mind?"

Willow shook her head. "No, that wasn't it at all. Her lips lifted a little in one corner. "I have a… date, or something, with my neighbor tonight. I just thought you two might be doing something similar."

Harry smiled warmly. "A date? That's wonderful!"

"I don't know, it might be."

"Where are you two going?"

Willow ran her fingers through her hair. "Nowhere really, he's just coming over for the evening. We've been doing it for years, but…"

"… Now the dynamics have changed?"

"Exactly."

Harry twirled the wine in his glass and tried to block out the memories of the previous evening, somehow thinking of his new sex life in front of Willow was embarrassing enough, much less the humiliation an impending arousal might cause. "Maybe I should suggest that we go out." Harry spoke quietly.

Willow nodded enthusiastically. "He needs to get out."

Harry laughed and nodded his approval. "What he needs is to lighten up a little. He's been so nervous, on edge."

Willow sighed and let her head fall back onto the sofa. "I think it's divine how nervous he is."

"Really?"

"Mmmm, it makes me feel justified in my own, I don't know, insecurities." She smirked.

Harry nodded. "I can understand that."

And as they sat in the quiet stillness, Harry began to once again think about how he had felt on that stormy night, when Hagrid had told him that the weird abnormalities that made him so repulsive to his aunt and uncle, were what made him belong like a hand in a glove to a world beyond anything he'd ever imagined.

A world that had given him so much of his own identity, just as Willow was finding hers now. And where once he thought it was this world that had worked him too hard, and eaten away at his spirit, he had forgotten that it was something else entirely, wasn't it?

It was Voldemort, it had always been just Voldemort. How had he forgotten again? His breath caught in his throat. How could he have forgotten? How could he have let himself forget that feeling? How could he have been so selfish? How could he have mistaken his unhappiness these past years as anything but his own stupid fault…? He felt sick. Really really, sick.

"Harry? Har, Harry!" He looked up startled. "Are you alright?" she asked. He nodded.

"Yea, I just..." He downed the last of his drink and winced.

Severus walked slowly back into the room, his eyes narrowing down on the grim faced Harry who was now hunched slightly over himself. Willow stood up and looked between the two men, worried. "Severus I think Harry's sick, and I don't think he's faking it this time."

Harry's ears were buzzing and his face felt hot and clammy. Merlin, he had lost so much time, so much of his youth trying to find himself somewhere else, some other country some other town, with some other muggle who was a good fuck and nothing more. He had been so sure that he could find what he was seeking away from his wand… but… he hadn't found anything… until now. Fuck! It had taken him so long!

He suddenly felt as though his stomach was squeezing against his throat and he pressed his palm against his lips in a feeble attempt to choke the sickness. He ran blurry eyed to the toilet without so much as a thought of the concerned parties.

"Severus! Maybe he was sick last night; maybe he wasn't really faking it."

Snape bit his cheek. He wanted to rush to Harry, needed to be there for him through whatever had hit him. "I think… Perhaps it would be best if you went home Willow. I think you're right."

Willow nodded enthusiastically, and picked up her bag. She leaned up on her toes and pecked Severus on the cheek before hurrying to the door.

"I will call on you tonight!" He finished in the direction of the door, just before it clicked closed.

* * *

Harry allowed Severus to hold an ice cold wash cloth to his forehead while he gratefully leaned all his weight against Severus's chest. Severus hadn't asked any questions yet. Thank God, he really didn't think he had the answers right now anyway. He was so exhausted, as if the weight of all that time had crashed down upon him like a ton of bricks, completely immobilizing him. This is what he should have done all those years ago. Right after the war was over, when everyone was celebrating he should have let himself puke up his guts and cry all night until all the exhaustion was out of him, and all the anger. Instead he had held it in and celebrated until the joy in the room was so offensive that he couldn't stand it a minute more and his anger was directed in a horribly wrong direction.

He wiped his mouth against his sleeve and pressed his face into Severus neck, then continued to let the silent tears stream down his cheeks. Surely Severus could feel them, and yet he still wouldn't ask questions. He just held him close and softly stroked his hair. Harry had never felt so loved, and with each second he began to feel more and more relaxed, and calm, and at peace. Like everything was just as it was supposed to be. Like everything was right in the world and nothing could ever feel uncertain again. Merlin, he was so tired of feeling uncertain. He was ready to go home. He was so ready to go home.

He sniffed and sighed against Severus skin. He pressed himself as closely and as firmly as possible to Severus's side, and sighed when he wrapped his arms around him and pulled in tight. "Harry you need to sleep."

"It's two p.m." Harry rasped.

"It's no matter. You have exhausted yourself. I insist you sleep until you feel well again."

"I feel well again now." He nuzzled his neck. "I don't want to leave you."

Snape kissed his head. "I won't leave you then."

"Not at all?"

"Not if you don't want me too."

Harry mewed and felt himself starting to droop, his eyes heavy and his head foggy. Severus wasn't going to leave him alone.

"Come on." Snape gently lifted Harry from the floor and held up most of his weight as he led him to the bed. But, Harry lifted his hand to stop him just before Severus crawled in next to him. "Get my wand for me." He turned his head and looked at the man with half lidded eyes.

"Shhh. Harry you don't need it now."

"Yes, yes I do. I need it right now."

Snape sighed low and nodded. This wasn't the time to argue with the man, whatever he wanted he would have. For now. "Where is it? Did you drop it last night?"

Harry shook his head. "No. It's in my duffel. At the bottom… in a box."

"A box?" Whatever for?

Harry just looked at him hard then rolled over. "The combination is 6, 3, 8, 3," he finished in a whisper.

Severus stared at him in shock for a moment and then forced himself to quietly nod and go to the duffel which was stuffed with neatly folded clothes, a few books, a shaving box, a couple souvenirs, and a long locked black box. What a foolhardy boy to lock away his wand. What in Merlin's name was he thinking? He set the combination, popped open the lid and removed the wand from within.

After sliding in next to Harry he placed the wand in Harry's right hand and pressed his fingers around the smooth cool wood. Harry sighed deeply and then without ever opening his eyes, pressed his chest against Severus's own and laid his arm across his side so that his wand was clasped firmly against Severus's back, Harry's fingers softly caressing both the wand and his lover.

* * *

Severus awoke to the sound of glass shattering followed quickly by the unexpected rumble of Harry's deep laughter. How strange.

He opened one eye and looked to the window. It must be nearly sunset already… but they had needed the sleep. He stood up and stretched his arms above his head, letting all the muscles pop and then relax again in place. He peered around the door fame to the living room. "Harry?"

A brief silence was followed by the sudden appearance of a rather excited, and sparsely dressed if he might add, young man holding one of the rare blue and white vases that was part of the hotel decoration, in one hand, and his wand in the other. "Severus!" His smile was so broad and infectious that Snape had to work extra hard to reel in the urge to grin. "What is it; I thought I heard a crash."

"I don't know why I never realized how fun this is!" Severus cocked his head. "What are you talking about, what's fun? How are you feeling?"

"Fine I feel fine. Look! Come over here and watch!" Harry grabbed his hand and pulled him into the entry way. "This is the only place where there's no carpet," He explained. Severus nodded, humoring him. "And…"

"Okay, stand back, over where the carpet starts, and watch." He sighed then reluctantly shuffled over to where Harry had directed him. He was too foggy headed to argue. "Okay, show me."

Harry nodded enthusiastically then lifted the vase, and before Severus could realize what he was about to do and stop him, he slammed it down on the hard floor, the delicate china shattering into a million sparkling pieces.

Severus was gob smacked. "You stupid child! What have you done! That was most probably a priceless antique; I'm going to have to pay for that!" Severus glared at Harry's joyful expression, his jaw clenched tight and his eyes furious.

"No you won't, no, remember! We can fix it!" Harry's smile widened.

"Potter, if you had been awake at all in charms, you would have remembered that reparo is less and less effectively depending on the difficulty of the break. Such a complicated vase, broken into that many pieces will hardly mend back together perfectly. And besides, why in hell's name would you test such a thing on so valuable an antique." His voice became sterner and louder as his speech drew to a close. His angry teacher stance back firmly in place. "You stupid, stupid boy."

Harry's smile slowly faded and his eyes darkened. "Really?" He looked down at the crumbles on the floor sadly. "I thought it worked okay the last two times, but, I probably didn't look at it very closely… maybe, I shouldn't have been so careless."

Severus sighed and controlled his frustration. "Harry. I'm sorry I got angry. If I have to pay for it I will. Now, you said you fixed it before?" He questioned.

Harry nodded.

"And it mended completely?"

"I thought so."

Snape frowned; such a complicated shatter shouldn't be an easy mend, not at all. "Okay then, do it again."

Harry nodded and pointed his wand at the mess, then whispered the incantation. The pieces rumbled for a moment then levitated on cue and shot towards each other in a flash until there was nothing but the complete vase wobbling on the hard wood floor. Harry looked down at it sadly. "It's probably all messed up."

Severus quickly went over and picked up the vase, spinning it in his hands. "Remarkable. It's perfect, how remarkable." He glanced at Harry. How could this slip of a boy be powerful enough to cast such a strong spell with such a quiet and feeble word? He'd hardly put anything into it. Harry's brow was pinched as he came to stroke the vase. "How long have you known that your magic is this powerful?" Harry looked at him shocked. "Powerful? What do you mean? All I did was mend a vase."

Severus nodded. "Perhaps, but you did it uncommonly well. No, far beyond uncommonly well, this is remarkable Harry. I only wonder what else you can do."

Harry shrugged. "I don't know, I didn't know anything was different."

Severus sighed. "How is that possible, how could you not know?"

Harry grabbed the vase out of his hands and walked away. "I just didn't, okay?" He slammed the vase down hard on the buffet table and sauntered to the bedroom, his muscles taunt.

Snape rubbed the sleep from his eyes. No, there was definitely something going on, he had known it earlier when he had pulled Harry's wand out of that locket box. Something was definitely amiss.

Severus followed after the boy slowly, watching him rip open the sheets and practically throw himself under the covers, trash about for a moment and then go still. So melodramatic. He walked over to his side of the bed and stared down at Harry's blank expression. "Are you going to tell me what's going on?" Harry pulled the blanket up to his neck, "No."

Severus reached down and grabbed the coverlet, ripping it out of Harry's grasp and sitting down on the side of the bed. "Stop being a child."

Harry glared at him. "If I'm a child it's only because I have to hear you call me one time after time."

"Harry… You know, that I didn't mean it."

"Well you said it, and that's what matters. What makes you think that you can keep treating me like an unruly student and I'll just take the punches?"

Severus closed his eyes and nodded. The boy, no, the man was right. He wasn't anything like a child anymore. "I don't think you're a child Harry, I haven't thought that for a long time. I think of you as a man, and as," he gulped, "my lover… And I know that I need to learn to watch my tongue. Give me time."

Harry smiled shyly up at him after a moment and then rolled over to allow room for Severus to climb back under the warmed covers. As soon as his head hit the pillow, Harry's heavy weight rolled against him, and his lips nestled under his ear. "You called me your lover." He sighed.

"Yes I did."

"I like it."

"What? Being called my lover, or actually being my lover."

He laughed. "Both. Though one much more than the other, obviously." He reached down and grasped Severus's hardening erection.

"Obviously."

Harry leant in and began leisurely kissing against his stubble rough neck. All thoughts of the earlier pushed aside. But not for long. "Harry." Severus laid his hand on the messed hair. He looked up. "Hmm?"

"Why can't you tell me what's bothering you?" He asked quietly. "Do you not trust me?"

Harry groaned then leaned his head down against Severus's chest. "I trust you, I trust you more than anyone. I just don't want to talk about it." He kissed over to one of his nipples and began nibbling. "I want you to fuck me again." He whispered.

Severus suppressed a moan at the thought, but instead of following through he reached down and brought Harry's head up once more. "I want to know what's going on first. We can think about that later."

Harry groaned, then with much effort, sat up against his heels and looked down at him. "It's not a big deal, so if you're hoping for something grand you're going to be disappointed."

"I'm not looking for a bedtime story; I'm asking my lover what is bothering him."

Harry nodded. "Fine. Up until today, I haven't been using magic."

Severus sat up. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that I haven't been using magic, no spells, and no potions. Nothing. I haven't touched my wand in years."

Severus head was spinning. "Years? How long?" He questioned, his school voice slowly returning.

"I wouldn't have told you if I thought you were going to scold me." Harry warned. "I hadn't touched my wand since the day I defeated Voldemort." He finished.

Severus reeled in the shocked outburst that was inches from releasing. "Harry… Why would you do that?" He asked calmly.

"Because I thought it was magic that was making me unhappy. I thought it was magic that was killing everyone I loved. I thought that if the only people I loved weren't magical, if my life was simple and free of all of this than I would be happy again… But I was wrong."

"I see."

"That's all there is to it really. I was even more unhappy trying to find love and acceptance other places, other countries in bars and such. I just started to forget. And then this morning I remembered why I loved magic. I remembered that it was part of me and that keeping away from it wasn't what was finally making me happy again. It was the opposite. I'm happy again because I came back, and I found you, and I remembered what it feels like to be settled and home. And then when I had my wand in my hand again it all just snapped together. The piece that was missing was always there in my duffle everywhere I went; I was just too stupid to remember."

Severus looked up at him in awe. "I never knew you were unhappy. I thought you were having the adventure of your life."

Harry shook him head. "I was having an adventure, but not a happy one. I was always unfulfilled and seeking more and more new things."

Severus looked down. "I felt like that once, when I was your age."

"I know."

"It got me into trouble – that looking."

Harry stroked his arm softly. "Let's not talk about it anymore. I told you everything, really. I just want to move on and be happy again." He flipped over slowly and laid down, first bringing Severus down with him, then pulling their lips together for a long kiss, stealing him away from what he knew were soon to be a string of very unhappy memories for the man.

"Speaking of bedtime stories…" Harry remembered. "You still haven't told me how Willow… came to be." He giggled.

Severus grinned and then descended back into the kiss. "Later."

Harry pushed against his shoulder. "That's not fair, I told my piece, now you tell yours."

Severus sighed, and then whispered in Harry's ear. "Yes but, I was hoping to make better use out of my tongue at the moment." He reached down and wrapped his hand around Harry's straining cock. "I wanted to see how far I could get this -" he swiped his finger across the head, making Harry gasp. "- down my throat. But, I can't very well tell my story at the same time, now can I?" He stroked Harry again and began a slow movement, up and down. Harry moaned and arched off the bed.

"Now can I?" He asked again, tightly squeezing the hardness in his hand.

"No..." Harry gasped.

"That's what I thought."

* * *

"I don't want to… I can't even move."

Severus chuckled and kissed Harry's jaw. "We are not wasting the entire evening in bed."

Harry groaned and rolled over. "Who said anything about wasting it?" He smiled against Severus's chest, his words coming out like little puffs of breath.

With a great deal of reluctance, Severus rolled out of bed and stretched. "We practically threw her out of the hotel room, we need to visit her."

Harry sighed, and then quickly remembered their earlier conversation. "Severus we can't, I just remembered, she said that she has a date tonight."

Severus flipped around with half lidded eyes. "A date with whom?"

"A friend or something."

"Why did she tell you this?"

Harry sat up. "I don't know… don't tell me you're jealous?"

Severus thrust his legs into his trousers. "I am not, jealous." He tossed Harry's clothes aside hastily. "Where is my fucking shirt?"

"Ah, Severus come on. It wasn't some secret, she told me right before I got sick and rushed out, she was probably going to tell you."

He glared at Harry. "I told you, quite plainly Potter that I was not jealous."

Harry rolled his eyes and leaned over the opposite side of the bed to pick up the wrinkled linen shirt. "Here." Severus finished dressing quickly then disappeared into the bathroom.

Harry watched him go, a small smile forming over his lips. Funny thing, when he was a student this behavior would infuriate him, now he was just amused, and, just a tiny bit… aroused. Definitely a funny thing. With a sigh he thumped back onto the bed.

"Let's go out." Harry looked over and saw Severus standing stiffly at the bathroom door, all the muscles in his face taunt.

"Really?"

Severus nodded. "Get dressed. I'm taking you out." He nodded once more as if he was deciding the matter for himself as well. It was true; he needed to do something with his time so he didn't worry about Willow. And besides, he had never taken Harry on an honest date. He wanted this to feel like a real relationship.

Harry smiled broadly and jumped out of bed. "Really! That's fantastic! Where will be go, Severus! Severus where are we going."

"Stop speaking as though I have just given you a pony for your birthday, all I'm doing is taking you to dinner or something."

Harry bounced on his heels, careless of his nakedness. He turned and went to his duffel. "This will be our first date, did you know that."

Severus hummed.

"But where are we going? I have to know what to wear!"

Severus was looking down into his bag thoughtfully. "I hadn't thought. I haven't been to San Francisco in quite awhile…" he looked up. "Although… there used to be a neighborhood quite filled with… men, like us." Severus stammered and cleared his throat. "Surely it's different now, that was a long time ago."

Harry stood up straighter and a wicked grin spread across his face. "What was it called?"

"The, uh… The Castro, I believe." Severus was picking though his things again.

Harry had a wicked idea. It wasn't something he would ever have thought to do, not ever. But suddenly, he couldn't think of anything sexier. "What is there to do in The Castro?" Harry asked innocently.

"I hardly remember it. There was an old theater house that was quite interesting. Restaurants of course, and, if I'm not mistaken, one or two porn shops." He turned and smiled.

Harry smiled back, "I see."

"We can go there if you like, see a movie perhaps, and have dinner."

Harry waited until Severus had taken out a pair of slacks and a black dress shirt. No that would not do at all; however, he rolled his wand around in his hand. He had an idea that would make that conservative outfit into something from his last wet dream with just one little spell.

"Severus?" He turned and looked at him. "I have another idea. I want to go to a club… I want to go clubbing with you."

The other man stood up straighter, his body tensing again. "Absolutely not."

"If it's a gay neighborhood, then there will be several clubs."

"Perhaps, but I will not be attending one."

Harry rushed over and grabbed his hand. "It's not a church mass, it's a club. You go and you dance and you do whatever you like. It's fun."

"No."

Harry pulled him closer, his eyes sparkling with that childish vigor and his lips trembling in such a way that Severus knows that he will give in. "I had intended for something much less, provocative. Couldn't we just go eat and talk?"

"We can talk here, we can talk next time we go out, we can talk and eat later… Please Severus?" His voice gets a little lower, his eyes seductive. "I know you'll love it. Trust me."

Severus sighed. "Fine. But we will not stay long."

"Good. God, I'm so excited." He looked down at the clothes. This will be the hard part… or maybe, the easy part. It just depends on how he played it. "These won't do."

"What won't do?"

Harry waved his hand over the clothes. "These."

"Why not?"

"They just won't! Here," he pulled them off the bed and handed them to him. "Put them on, and then I'll transfigure them into something better."

Severus reluctantly took the clothes and after a long moment of staring angrily at Harry's pleading expression, he slowly began to put them on. "I will not leave this apartment if my arse is exposed."

Harry laughed. "No. I'm saving that for me." Severus froze for a minute and gulped. He hoped the boy wasn't serious, although… the idea was enticing. "Alright, go ahead." He stood still in front of Harry and held his breath.

As soon as Severus heard Harry murmur the incantation he cautiously looked down at himself. And he knew that he'd made the wrong decision, a very wrong decision.

"I feel naked."

Harry grinned his exuberant boyish grin and slid his palms up the other man's chest to curl around his neck. "You look hot."

"I look… Naked."

Harry stepped back and looked him over, "This is going to make every guy in the joint stare. They're not used to men with such raw animal -"

"Okay stop. I don't think this is a good idea at all. I don't dance, I don't flirt, and I don't see why we need to go to a club anyway. Don't men like us go to these places to find sex, not to parade who their having sex with?"

Harry reached up and smoothed Severus's hair with his hands, tucking a piece behind his ear that had fallen out of the long ponytail that had appeared with the outfit.

"Men go to clubs for lots of reasons. But I bet that you'll be begging me to take you back after you feel the music vibrating through your legs, and the way your dick feels pressed tight behind this leather." Harry rubbed his palm over his groin, and suddenly Severus knew exactly what he meant. "And the way we're going to look together on that dance floor, with dozens of men staring at us, envying us. You're going to fucking love it."

Severus bats his hand away. "I never beg."

Harry smiled that wicked smile then reached up to whisper in his ear, "Ah, I think we both know that's not quite true, don't we Severus?"

* * *

___As always, don't forget to review!_

___… Even if you're angry about the wait._

___… Sorry, by the way._

___-semolinapilchard_


	10. Chapter 10

_Refer to chapter one for disclaimer and warnings_

_Enjoy! _

_-semolinapilchard_

_

* * *

  
_

Severus was glad that Harry was at least willing to let him wear a long black trench over the embarrassingly revealing outfit as they rode the underground towards the Castro station. Christ, what had come over him? He wasn't acting like himself; he would never do anything like this. Even now he regretted ever allowing Harry to beguile him into doing something so shockingly out of character.

"Calm down Severus, it's not going to be so bad." Harry slipped his hand into his own as they vibrated at high speeds through the damp and dark tunnels that ran under the city.

Severus snatched his hand away. He hated being coddled. But more importantly he hated being controlled. And suddenly he felt that control was exactly what Harry was after. Had Severus agreed to come here? Hardly. Had he been happy about it? No. Hadn't he wanted to take Harry out for a nice first date? Talk? Get to know each other better? That's all he'd wanted, and that alone was stretching his comfort, and now look where he was. Being taken advantage of simply did not sit well with him.

Harry stared at him for a moment and then put his hand back in his lap. "So you're mad at me?"

Severus didn't feel he needed to answer. He had a wand of his own, as soon as he got off this fucking train, with these fucking white lights, he was going to head straight for the first restroom and transfigure this horrible get-up into a modest and respectable slacks and shirt and be on his way back to the hotel room. Harry could do what he liked.

Wait, better yet… He had told Willow he would stop by to see her tonight, and he would, one way or another. It didn't matter to him whether she had a date or not. He was her father, wasn't he? He had every right to know who this man was. That settled it; as soon as he was properly dressed again he would buy a taxi that would take him straight to Willows apartment.

"Severus?" Harry tried to lay his palm against Severus' thigh. Harry sighed. Maybe he shouldn't have pushed him so soon. Maybe he was starting to forget what Severus was like. Maybe he shouldn't have forced him to go here tonight. No, he definitely shouldn't have forced him to go here tonight. What had he been thinking? Severus wasn't like the boys he was used to meeting at clubs and bars. His idea of dating was so thrown off that he hardly knew what it was like to have a quiet simple dinner with conversation. He sighed. "You're right to be angry. I shouldn't have suggested a club. Dinner would be much better." He looked up at Severus whose hard jaw was relaxing a little. "Really Severus. Let's not go. Let's change our clothes and do something else." He stroked his palm down Snape's thigh and squeezed his knee. "Alright?"

Snape didn't answer him; he just looked down at the hand at his knee and relaxed. That was a good enough answer for Harry; he never realized how uncomfortable he'd made him. He obviously needed to learn to be much more aware of this man if he intended to continue with this relationship, if that's what they had at all…

Although, he still mourned the loss of an evening with Severus, dancing, drinking, grinding, flirting, kissing… he sighed. Severus was not that kind of man… but, maybe someday.

* * *

Severus wrapped the cloak tighter around himself as he gripped the moving rail of the frightening contraption that Harry called an "escalator." He'd never had the misfortune to experience one before now, and he was hopeful that he never would again.

Harry looked around the street when they got to the top. The air was crisp and sharp, making the gentle breeze feel biting. "Do you want to change in the gas station loo?"

Severus glared at him. "I'm quite content with not catching a dozen muggle diseases." He looked behind him. The glowing door a couple of feet to his left was probably one of these clubs that Harry was talking of. It was also the closest free bathroom where he wouldn't be stared at. "I'm going in there to change." Harry nodded, and then followed him in.

Severus tried to ignore the crowds of half naked bumping men as he squeezed his way in the direction of the restroom. The glowing green light was blinking humorously above the door. He had no idea what had happened to Harry after he'd entered and become lost in the sea of bodies, but he hardly cared.

As soon as he got through the doors, he quickly claimed a stall and snapped the door shut. The stall next to him seemed to be groaning, and its walls would periodically knock and shake. Severus tried not to think about it. He pulled out his wand and sighed. He would finally be rid of this awful outfit. He casually ran the wand from neck to groin and said the necessary incantation.

Nothing happened.

Puzzled, he did it again, this time a little more forcibly. The stall beside him froze and silenced upon hearing the near shouted spell. He touched his stomach. Fucking Harry Potter. The boy had cast an irreversible spell on him. He was going to kill him. No, he was going force him to undo it, and then forbid him from ever casting anything on him, ever again… and _then_ kill him. He growled.

Severus stepped out onto the dance floor and allowed himself to scan the room for the first time. Harry was probably loitering out here somewhere.

The small, dark and glowing room was awash with men, arms raised and dancing, dressed in… outfits shockingly similar, and yet, heavily less tasteful than the one Harry had created for him. Well, just because he had been right, didn't mean that Severus had to be comfortable, or even willing to engage in this demeaning activity.

He pushed his way through the crowd, determined to find Harry at the other side. As soon as he'd emerged by the bar, he spotted him. His coat had disappeared, leaving him in nothing but a pair of achingly tight dark green pants. His hair was determinedly disheveled and his eyes were lined in thick coal. His left nipple was pierced. Or at least, whatever spell he'd used made it appear that way. Severus gulped and felt his cock rise at the sight of Harry, wrapped in slytherin colors and sinfully adorned. Just then, an attractive blond appeared holding a drink which he handed to Harry and then slinked in close enough that their groins almost touched. Severus felt himself boil. What was the boy playing at? The blond leaned down and whispered something in Harry's ear that made him laugh.

Severus raged through the rest of the crowd until he was inches from Harry.

"Hey. Fuck off." The blond ran his eyes over Severus, and then smirked in Harry's direction as if to say _"as if he could ever tempt someone like you."_ Harry smiled up at Snape. "Why aren't you changed?"

"You know perfectly well why." Severus took Harry's drink and then handed back to the blond. He took Harry's hand and pulled him in the opposite direction and into a shadowed corner behind a thumping speaker. He quickly cast a silencing charm.

"How dare you cast an irreversible spell on me?"

"What?"

"I don't appreciate being incapable of controlling my own wardrobe."

"I didn't know I had. You can cast an irreversible spell without even knowing it?"

"You didn't know?"

"No."

"Well undo it."

Harry looked up at him shyly. "Are you still mad about me making you come here?"

"Yes."

Harry sighed. "Oh. I really am sorry. I should have known that you'd be uncomfortable."

"I am not uncomfortable."

Harry shifted his weight and then looked out at the dance floor longingly. "Don't get mad when I ask you this."

"Ask me what?"

"Well… it's been a really long time since I've danced. And, I… Would you be jealous if I danced with that guy?" Harry gestured over his shoulder to the blonde. "Just once? It would just be dancing, it wouldn't be anything else."

Severus felt like he was hit in the gut. "You're interested in other men?"

Harry's eyes grew wide. "No! He's awful! I'm not interested, I just want to dance. You know?"

Severus looked back over his shoulder at the young blonde who was trying to slyly watch them. "No. I couldn't stand by and watch you dance with that brainless piece of meat."

Harry slumped. "Okay. Let's go then." He waved his hand and the silencing charm melted away. He couldn't help but notice all the fire and passion melt away as Harry led him politely through the crowd and toward the front door. The boy must truly enjoy this loud insanity. And although Severus didn't quite understand the thrill, he hardly wanted to forbid Harry from ever engaging in it again. That would be… exactly what he accused Harry of doing to him. Controlling him. If Harry wanted to dance, he should dance. And if his chosen partner wouldn't dance with him, he had every right to find someone else who would. Didn't he? Severus didn't like the idea at all, if he had to admit to jealousy he would, but he simply couldn't allow Harry to be in the arms of another man. I was beyond him.

Severus pulled back on Harry's hand just before they were about to emerge into the open space around the bar. Harry looked back quizzically. If Harry wanted to dance, then he would dance. Severus couldn't let him be this down and out over such a tiny insecurity. He looked out over the crowds. He could dance like that, perhaps, if Harry led him.

"What is it?" Harry shouted up into his ear.

"Make this coat go away." Severus answered.

Harry's smile started to poke out in the corners of his mouth. "But someone will notice."

"No one is looking anywhere but the back of their own eyelids. Just do it. I intend to dance with you."

Harry's smile lit up the dark room. "Really?"

"Just do it before I change my mind." Harry pulled out his wand and discretely melted the coat off his shoulders. To anyone who was watching it would look like Harry had simply lifted the coat up and off his shoulders. They wouldn't pay attention long enough to notice that it didn't remain in Harry's hands. As soon as Severus was free of the coverage he shivered. Harry led them a little further onto the dance floor where they were less likely to be noticed and then as soon as they were situated, he pulled Severus flush against him, and Snape wasn't cold anymore.

Harry stoked his hands around Severus's waist and pushed his groin in, then began to rock and hump in a surprisingly erotic, and practiced manner. His dark eyes closed and he through his head back with a sigh.

"I missed this."

Severus let Harry rock his hips in rhythm with his own, but didn't attempt anything more. Harry moved his arms to drape across his shoulders then he grabbed his hands and placed them on his hips, a move that was pleasurably reminiscent of the night previous when they had made love for the first time. Severus groaned and moved his hands instinctually down over Harry's backside.

The move seemed to jump start the body, and Harry suddenly increased his persistent hip rolls.

"Just feel me, Severus." Harry told him thickly, his lips nibbling on his ear before he leaned back and continued his swaying. Severus could never close his eyes like Harry. It wasn't the beat of the music, or the heat, or the subtle hint of voyeurism that was turning him on. It was the heavily erotic sight of Harry so breathtakingly lost and sensual against him. It was like the best kind of foreplay, the most torturous delayed pleasure.

He smiled and promised himself to begrudgingly allow Harry to take him dancing as often as he liked. Then he loosened up his shoulders and tried to move along with his dancing Adonius.

Severus lost count of how many songs blended into each other while they kept dancing. Their skin slowly becoming more and more sweat slick and their erections more and more throbbing. He was certain that Harry had not expected Severus to last this long, but Snape was determined to keep going until Harry was so far gone that he had to beg him to take him out of here and into bed. There was no way he was going to be the one undone.

It was during a particularly loud and rambunctious song that Severus decided to speed things up. He clenched his hands around the firm flesh and gently kneed while he leant down and sucked, probably too hard, on Harry's neck. Suddenly Harry's practiced rhythm faltered and he stood, a puddle of trembling jolting nerves in his hands.

"Severus… I…" he groaned.

"Yes?"

Harry thrust his hips forward, but Snape retreated.

"Let's leave. Let's go." Severus smiled and then nearly yanked Harry through the crowed and out the front door. The streets were shockingly cold against his flushed skin, and what usually bothered him as too busy and loud, was suddenly as quiet as an English garden compared to what he had just experienced. Snape kept a grip on Harry's hand and then looked down the street at the underground station. There wasn't time for that. "Let's apparate, I know where the hotel is." He told Harry, whose eyes were bright green and lazy in arousal.

"No." Harry said, then grasped his hand hard and started walking the opposite way. Then, before Severus had a chance to think, Harry had pushed him between two buildings and around a corner, where, amongst wet trash and broken fence, he pressed him up against the wall.

Severus pushed back. "Are you crazy? I'm not doing this here."

Harry whimpered. "I can't wait, I can't. I need release now. Its okay, it's fine. Anyone in this neighborhood that might find us won't be seeing anything unusual." He descended back against him, his hands shaking as he undid the clasp on his pants. Severus batted him away. "Harry. Be reasonable, it takes seconds to apparate. We can do this against a wall of the hotel room." Harry pushed his hand into his pants and over his erection.

"I don't want to. I want to do it here. I feel sick after apparating. And I haven't done it in years." He looked up at him pleadingly. "Please? I need you. Right now."

Severus sighed and looked down the tiny alley. "Fine, but come quick." He flipped Harry around so his back was to the wall and then sank to his knees, not caring if he got mud on Harry's leather pant creation. Severus quickly popped the row of buttons open and then positioned his body so that he was blocking anyone who might come upon them. It was an uncomfortable position but it made him feel at least moderately more comfortable with the otherwise dangerous situation. As soon as Severus forced himself to dismiss the reality of their predicament and just flow with it, much the same as he had done in the club, he began to relax, slow his ministrations and enjoy the completely wanton act of blowing Harry in an alley way, dressed in leather.

Harry's quiet gasps and painful hold on his hair was enough to signal that the boy would at least finish quickly. And in no time at all he was prove correct as Harry groaned and came in quick heady bursts. Severus tucked him back in and then stood up to begin nibbling at Harry's ear. "You didn't have to take me so seriously."

"Sorry." Harry's voice was raspy.

"You don't need to apologize."

"I've been hard since I saw you dressed like that." He ran his hands over Snape's hips.

"That reminds me. Can you make my cloak come back again? I don't particularly like being seen this way."

Harry flicked his wand mindlessly; his eyes still half lidded and tiny pants still puffing from between his kissed red lips. "If you apparate me back will you carry me to bed?" He smiled.

Snape smirked and then wrapped his arm around Harry and the spell pulled them abruptly from the alleyway and into the hotel living room. Harry groaned and swayed in his arms. "Nausea is not a good ending to orgasm."

Severus lifted him from the ground and carried him to bed, just as he'd promised. "Don't get used to this Potter."

"Potter?"

He deposited Harry onto the bed, then pulled off his shoes and transfigured his clothes into pajamas. Harry reached for his hand. "Aren't you coming to bed?"

"I have to go check on Willow."

Harry nodded and then pulled him down for a kiss. "Tell her I said Hello."

* * *

Severus arrived at Willows building later than was polite. But since she had a date planned, he assumed she would still be awake. Or at least he hoped so. He could see a young man stilling on the floor outside her door before he even cleared the staircase.

He paused. "Can I help you?"

The man looked up and jumped. It was the one who came to the door the previous evening looking for Willow. Perhaps he was the date she had told Harry about.

"You're Willows father, right?" Severus nodded.

"Thank God. Maybe she'll talk to you." He looked desperate.

"What's wrong? What did you do to her?" Severus jerked the door knob.

"Nothing. I mean, I don't think I did anything. We were just, ya know…" he cleared his throat, "having some fun, and then she ran and locked herself in the bedroom. Ten minutes later she kicked me out and locked the door. She won't tell me what's going on."

"What do you mean, messing around?"

"Not like that, just… kissing. I was just kissing her." He flushed bright red and Severus rolled his eyes. The man reminded him sickeningly of Harry's Weasley friend. Severus knocked loudly. He called for her three times before he pushed the boy back and then made a show of forcing the door open. As soon as he was through he pushed the boy back into the hall and locked and warded the door.

"Willow?" She was sitting at the kitchen table, her cheeks red and damp. "Something's happened? What did he do to you?"

"N-Nothing," she stuttered.

Severus flicked on a light, concerned about the dreary dimness of the room on her mood. He pulled out a chair at the opposite end of the kitchen table and sat down. "Tell me."

"It's nothing."

"I won't leave until you tell me the absolute truth, and I will know if you don't." He wasn't lying about that. He intended to know exactly what was going on. "Did you try and call me?"

She shook her head. "H-Harry said you were going on a date."

He nodded. "It seems it might benefit me to purchase one of those… things." He replied half to himself. Harry had suggested her buy one, and yesterday he had seen a window display near the hotel of the little plastic devices.

"What?"

"Those telephones that you can keep in your pocket."

"A cell phone?"

"Precisely. You need to be able to reach me."

Willow huffed. "I'm a big girl I can take care of myself."

"I know. But I would like to think that I can be there for you."

"I-I'm so sorry." She sniffed. "That was r-rude."

"Don't think of it Willow. Now… tell me what's bothering you."

"You wouldn't believe me."

"I am prepared to believe whatever you tell me."

She sniffed and Severus handed her a dinner napkin from a wooded box at the center of the table.

"You won't laugh?"

"I rarely laugh."

She hiccupped. "I can imagine." She blew her nose and looked up. "Sometimes… just sometimes… when I'm really upset, or, I don't know, I guess when I'm really nervous or excited maybe… well… weird stuff happens. That's all."

Severus swallowed a lump in his throat. "What happens?"

"Just stuff… It's not important."

Severus sat back in his chair, his chest fluttering and his thoughts running in a million directions. Why hadn't he thought of this possibility before? "Willow, you are speaking of strange things happening outside of yourself, aren't you?"

She looked up at him. "Maybe. Please don't think I'm a freak. I'm not a freak."

Severus laughed. "No. You are not a freak at all."

She smiled. "See, you do laugh sometimes." She wiped her nose again.

Severus's muscles felt achingly tight from his effort to reel in his emotions and not succumb to his desire to whip out his wand and confirm that what he already suspected was true. At least he had found out now. How terrible for her to have gone her whole life wondering what was happening to her. Most muggle children were invited to a school by the time they were eleven. She must have been overlooked somehow. He clenched his fists. If only he had known he had a daughter, this never would have happened. She would have been a star pupil at Hogwarts. He took a deep breath, well; something would have to be done to explain things to her. "Willow I think I could show you something… and explain some things that will make you feel much better about this. But, I'd like to come back with Harry tomorrow. Are you comfortable with waiting until then?"

"You know what's wrong with me?"

"Nothing's wrong with you. But I do believe that I know what's going on." He smiled.

"Okay."

Severus stood up and straightened his coat. "I would stay longer but I have a few things to discuss with Harry, and I believe that there is a very concerned young man waiting for you outside."

"He's still outside!?" Willow stood up and looked at the clock. It had been nearly two hours since she had kicked him out and an hour since he had last called out for her to let him in. She felt guilty leaving him banging on her door in the hallway, but what was she supposed to do? It would ruin everything if he knew about this. Besides, as far as she knew it was going to ruin everything she could have with her father by letting him in on her secret. But, if he thought he could help… she had to try and let him.

"Indeed. Perhaps you should speak with him." Willow shrugged. "Should I let him in as I leave?"

She nodded.

"Until tomorrow then."

As soon as he had let the stuttering boy into the apartment Severus made his way back to the hotel. He certainly hadn't expected this. And now as his hands were beginning to shake and his nerves were rattled from trying to stay calm, he couldn't think of anything but his burning desire to tell Harry.

* * *

_Don't forget to review!! Think of it as my Christmas present._

_Which reminds me... HAPPY HOLIDAYS_!


	11. Chapter 11

_Refer to chapter one for disclaimer and warnings...  
_

_**I also want to announce that I've started a new story called "The Obliterated One." It's very different, but I'm excited about it. Three chapters are up already. If you want to check it out, I encourage you to do so. **_

_Now... Enjoy! _

_-semolinapilchard_

* * *

When Severus arrived back at the hotel with his news, he found Harry naked and waiting for him, an event which he was immediately disappointed to spoil, even with his fantastic news. "I can't believe it! Willow's a witch?" He had gone from fast asleep to excitable in a matter of seconds. He crawled out from under the blankets and knelt, uncovered, on the bed. "Severus this is a big deal!"

Severus smirked and stared unashamed at Harry's exposed body, hoping he would get the message. "If she's a witch AND your daughter, she has no right to be here, to be living like a muggle."

Severus nodded. "You're right. Let's talk about it in the morning." He only had room to think about one thing tonight. He stripped of his heavy robes while Harry was busy staring off into space, thinking about all the wonderful possibilities for Willow as a witch. Severus crawled over to him and held his lover against his chest, this lips finding the sensitive spot under his ear, and began to force Harry into distraction.

He twisted out of Severus's embrace and pulled the sheet over his front. "Severus! You act like you don't even care!"

Snape sighed and rolled onto his back, defeated. "I care immensely, but I've been deprived of sex for over a year, and when nothing can be done, sex, I believe, is much more important." Harry rolled his eyes and then dropped the sheet, dramatically throwing himself over his lover's waist. "I'm so excited to see if it's true."

Severus flipped them over gracelessly and plucked Harry's glasses off his face. "Me too. Now, no more talking until tomorrow."

"Is that a command?"

"Already disobeying me? It's going to be a tedious night Mr. Potter."

* * *

Willow sat facing a wall. And as instructed, her eyes were closed and she was trying to relax, but even so, she couldn't stop her fingers from nervously pulling against each other. She wanted to trust her father as he did who-knows-what behind her, but the anticipation was killing her.

"This is scaring me."

Severus pocketed his wand quickly. "You can turn around now, I'm done." Willow twisted and gave them a wary look. "What did you do?"

"I just wanted to try something. Do you mind if Harry and I talk briefly in the hall?"

Her eyes were fearful. "You sound like a couple of doctors on TV deciding how best to tell me I'm dying in under an hour."

Severus chuckled and Harry smiled from his chair next to the kitchen table, his eyes betraying his excitement. "Nothing of the sort," Severus promised her. "Like I said, as odd as it seems you're just going to have to trust us for the time being."

Willow nodded. "Fine whatever, I need to use the bathroom."

Snape beckoned Harry and the two stepped into the hall. "So?" Harry bounced slightly on his heels.

"She is a witch, though a fairly weak one," Severus whispered. "Bit of a blow to my ego actually. But it would explain why she never received a letter from a wizarding school. Many times witches and wizards of lower powers are not automatically admitted unless petitioned by their parents or the school board."

Harry's smile faltered. "So how weak do you think she is? Like a squib, or like Neville?"

Snape chuckled at the remark. "I _am_ her father; I would never allow her to be less competent then Neville Longbottom."

Harry looked through the crack they'd left in the door. "How are you going to tell her? She won't believe you."

Severus shook his head. "No, not without encouragement. Before I finished running the diagnostic tests I cast a vidi visum charm on her. She'll be open to accepting anything we tell her until the time when she has internalized the information, and has chosen to believe us."

Harry nodded. "Isn't that dishonest?"

"Under the circumstances, it's the best method I have. And it's also the most common ways of revealing ourselves to muggles when necessary. Otherwise we'd have a big mess on our hands. Willow seems too rational to accept this news otherwise."

"We should tell her. She thinks she's dying."

When they reentered the apartment Willow was sitting at the table, her makeup smeared around her eyes. "So, how long do I have?" She smirked. "Sorry."

Severus took a seat across from her and Harry practically bounded onto the couch beside them. Severus had been nervous about this part since this morning when he woke up knowing he would have to explain to her something he'd never had to explain to anyone before. Harry's exuberance showed his lack of realism. Even with vidi visum, Willow could still reject the idea so completely that he'd be laughed out of her presence forever. "I've never done this before," he told her honestly. "And it's going to be very difficult to understand." Willow sat up.

"Well just come right out and say it then, that's usually the best."

He cleared his throat in preparation for the lengthy introduction he'd prepared when Harry blurted -"You're a witch!" Severus shot him a deathly look and Harry shrunk down into his seat.

"What?"

"Yes Willow, as Harry so bluntly put it, you are a witch."

She started to smile hesitantly. "You're joking right?"

They shook their heads. Once Severus managed to get his daughter to stop chuckling and to listen to them seriously, he went on to explain in disorganized fragments, and with help of Harry, what exactly being a witch entailed.

Willow put her hand to her head. "This sounds like a trick to me. And I refuse to fall prey to a practical joke and be made a fool of." She glared at them.

"I would never trick you for sport, Willow." Severus tried to reach for her hand but she snatched it away. "We're prepared to demonstrate our sincerity."

She rolled her eyes. "Demonstrate? No, I don't think that's a good idea, I have neighbors and I don't want any stupid magic trick to make a scene…"

"Harry levitate that plate." Harry looked at him nervously and then pulled out his wand to which Willow regarded with dumbfounded curiosity until he lifted it clear to the ceiling with ease."

"Oh my God. That was weird."

Next, Snape pulled out his wand and transfigured a coffee tin into a pot of living daises. Willow shrieked and then touched a leaf hesitantly. "I don't think I like this, I mean, I didn't ask for this to happen to me."

Severus put his wand down on the table and held her gaze affectionately. "None of us ask for this, it's just the way we are."

Harry nodded. "Willow, it's nothing to be ashamed of, I thought it was for a long time, but, I realized that it's stupid and wasteful to be ashamed of who I am. Don't you think?"

"Of course, but, I never thought it would apply to – this."

Severus held out his wand. "Hold it, since we're family you should feel something." Willow put her fingertips against the wood and then wrapped her hand firmly around the base. After a moment she felt her palm tingle. Not like the painful sensation that occurs when your hand falls asleep, but something pleasant and joyful that sparkled from her chest and all the way down to her fingertips. "Oh my God. Your right, I do feel it." She held it against her chest. "What is that?"

"Magic." Harry smiled.

"Oh my God." She caressed the wood affectionately as her eyes began to water. "So this is what was wrong with me all that time."

"Not _wrong._" Severus corrected, "_Right."_

* * *

A few hours later the three were still discussing details. Harry's exuberance was only growing but Severus could easily read Willow's reserve and quiet distance. She smiled whenever she picked up his wand, but Harry's string of stories and explanations seemed to go through one ear and out the other. Harry sat facing her on the sagging couch and Severus tried to look poised in the orange lounge chair.

"Severus we'll have to take her to Olivander's first thing. And then we'll have to bring her to meet absolutely everyone."

Snape yawned. "I don't have the energy to introduce her to all of your adoring fans at once. We must let her settle in first."

Willow's brow furrowed. "Settled? What do you mean…? Do I have to move?"

Harry glanced at Severus who sat up straighter. He should have brought this part up more delicately. "Well we can't force you to do anything my dear, but under the circumstances I had hoped that you would allow me to introduce you to our world before you make any lasting decisions."

"Oh."

Harry and Snape looked at each other nervously as she contemplated.

"I guess that would be alright. For a little while."

Harry smiled broadly and grasped her hand. "You're going to love it Willow, we'll teach you everything you need to know. Won't we Severus?" She just looked out her window, her eyes distant and contemplative.

"We'll introduce her gradually, and she will decide if it's something she wants to peruse." She smiled at Harry when he squeezed her hand affectionately.

"It's just all very sudden." She announced. "And I'm still trying to comprehend why I believe all of this… But I do. And if I do, then it must be right."

* * *

Willow waited by the window of her apartment until she could see the retreating figures of her father and Harry leave the building to walk, hand in hand down the street. As soon as they'd disappeared around the corner, she jumped up, grabbed her keys and ran down to Stewart's door.

Stewart answered her knock in a pair of faded jeans and his old grey zip up jacket which was open to reveal his toned chest. "Willow! Hey." He self consciously reached to pull up the zipper. "Are you alright? You wouldn't talk to me last night."

She nodded. "I'm okay now. Can I come in?"

He looked back at his messy living room but nodded anyway. She rarely came here, so the visit was unexpected. "Yeah, sure. I guess."

With a nervous smile she slipped passed him and threw her keys to the side. Stewart closed the door and watched as she stood awkwardly, her eyes observing his modest home. He'd been working on a painting before she arrived, and his floor was covered in half squeezed tubes of paint and filthy rags. When she spotted the canvas she wandered over and tenatively touched the surface, he'd been trying to capture the way her bedroom window looked from the street as he looked up, as he sometimes did. The distinctive Victorian molding would give him away.

"Is it my window?" She asked.

"Sort of, yeah." He smiled.

She nodded and traced the lines with the tip of her orange painted nail. "It's beautiful."

Stewart shrugged because he didn't know what else to do and then wandered into his studio kitchen to find clean cups for tea, or coffee, or something.

"I'm sorry I kicked you out yesterday." Willow told him as she approached the counter.

He shrugged again. "It's fine."

No, that was a lie, he wasn't fine, and he was going to have a hard time pretending like he wasn't hurt. After all, whatever he'd done to freak her out, whatever had made her lock herself in her bedroom, shrieking and crying, was something that she wouldn't share with him. But it was something she would share with a man whom she'd met just days before.

He threw the spoon he'd been using to stir the sugar in the sink. It crashed against his dirty dishes.

"It wasn't about you Stewart, I told you…"

"I know, alright?" He gave her a sharp look and handed her the instant coffee. "Whatever."

She took the cup.

"What did you come here for?" His anger and jealously was boiling back up and he was finding it impossible to hold back.

Willow looked at him softly. "I wanted to tell you something."

"What?"

"Don't you want to sit down first? We haven't talked in awhile."

"Just tell me Willow. I'm busy."

She set her cup on the counter and folded her arms over her chest. With a determined humph she strode over and grabbed his shoulders. It was obvious why he was upset, or at least she thought it was. "Kiss me again." Stewart pushed against her lightly, but she held on.

"No."

"Why?"

"Why the fuck do you think? I'm not going to hurt you."

Willow stood closer until her body was flush with his. "It wasn't you. I promise. Try again and you'll see." She knew that with the shock and nervousness diminished, she would be able to control herself. Besides, now she knew what was happening to her.

Stewart looked down at her pink lips and felt tempted, seriously tempted. He twisted out of her arms. "This is stupid Willow. You said you needed time to figure your issues out, so fine. Take all the fucking time you need." He turned and gave her a hard look. "But don't come here and experiment on me."

The air in the room grew colder and the wind picked up, rustling stacks of paper on the ground. Willow hugged her arms around her chest again. This wasn't proving to be as easy or as pleasant as she'd hoped. Maybe her relationship with Stewart didn't have possibilities after all. "I'm leaving for awhile." She told him. "That's what I came to tell you."

Stewart forced himself to shrug. "Good. You need a vacation."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you obviously need to sort your shit out. So good, go and do it."

"Why are you being such an ass hole? I didn't come here to be patronized."

"Then why did you come. Because I still can't figure it out."

Willow was quiet for a long moment. "What if I said that I might not come back?"

He stared at her, his expression as neutral as he could make it, even though he could feel the hurt and the pain rising to the surface. "What? Are you going along with your brand new father to be happy in a great new life?"

"I don't know yet. It depends." She watched his face for emotion but he just turned around.

"Well I hope you figure it out soon, so that I don't have to deal with you anymore." He stopped where he stood and laid his hand on the counter for support. Shit.

"What?" Willows voice broke and the air moved a little faster in the room, too fast, but she didn't care.

"Willow…I didn't mean that."

She sniffed back her tears and looked around the floor for her keys, her sight foggy and wet. "You don't get it do you?"

Stewart hurried out of the kitchen and snatched her keys from the counter before she had time to find them. They jingled and reached for them, but he folded them tight into his large palm. "You know I didn't mean it Willow. I was just trying to hurt you."

"What? Like I hurt you?" He adverted his gaze. "Well fine. You succeeded fantastically. Now give me my keys." She grasped his hand, but he held on tight.

Willow looked up into his eyes where his regret was evident, but it didn't matter. She lifted herself up on her toes and pressed her mouth against his. His control slipped and when his mouth opened in surprise she took advantage of the moment, her tongue slipping in, her passion fueled by anger and grief before anything else. They kissed; his low moans the only sound as her own desperate whimpers were caught under the onslaught of emotion. When she finally felt his hand loosen she slipped her fingers in under the rings and yanked them into her own hand. He stopped and looked down at her, her eyes even redder than before and her mascara dripping lines clear down to her lips.

"If you had asked me to stay I would have." She said quietly. "That's why I came." He didn't have time to formulate a response, his emotions so frazzled and his passions confusing his thoughts. _I do want you to stay._

Willow turned and left the room quickly.

Stewart stood frozen and shivering as a heavy wind whipped through the room; a freezing wind that forced the door to slam shut behind her.

* * *

Later that evening and back at their hotel, Harry climbed into bed beside his lover and curled his arm around his thin chest with a contented sigh. "I wish I had a family."

Severus looked down at him, but his face was buried into his side. "You have a family Harry. Many people love you."

Harry shook his head. "Not so many. Hermione and Ron always will I suppose, but not like they love each other. And Ron's mum loves me, but not like she loves her own sons. And I never had a lover who loved me, not really. It's always about sex."

Severus moved his arm away.

Harry noticed the tension immediately and looked up. "No, that's not what I meant. I didn't mean you." He grasped his arm and forced is back around to rest against his bare back. "I don't expect you to ever love me." He shrugged. "But the fact that you want me, even just a little bit is more than I deserve."

Severus wanted to tell him that he deserved much more than he ever would, but his thoughts were too distracted, so he waited as Harry drifted off to sleep slowly, his whole body melting around him.

That night Severus found that his thoughts were once again keeping him up well into the night.

* * *

"I don't see why we shouldn't leave tomorrow," Willow announced proudly the next morning as they had breakfast together in a small bistro called, 'The Tangerine.'

Severus set his fork down. "You can't possibly be ready that quickly. Don't you have things to sort out first?"

She shook her head and then took a sip of her tangerine mimosa. "No. I'm all set."

It sounded suspicious to him, but he didn't push it.

* * *

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